About Nude Not Naked

In 2000 a poignant film about life was released. With the short title “Malena”, this spell binding Italian movie recounted the story of a woman, told through the voice of a young boy.

Malena’s world collapsed all around her the very second the town found out that she became a widow. She experienced antagonism because women hated and spat at her out of jealousy. Through her life Malena had lived with men taking advantage of her and lusting after her but it grew worse midway through the movie, when they discovered that her husband was reported dead at war.



It was hell from that moment on. The women in the market refused to sell her any produce and soon only the dirty men were willing to trade food with her.

Eventually Malena’s husband returned home after the war. Her husband was not dead, after all. Malena and her husband were reunited and they returned to their hometown hand in hand. If you watched carefully, you will realise that Malena's husband loved and cherished her. And perhaps he was the only person who truly understood her pain. With her husband around her, the women welcomed Malena once again and men no longer disrespected her.

I have watched this movie countless of times. I shed tears for Malena during what I consider the climax of the movie. There was one scene when women (who once were her friends, neighbours etc) beat her, tore her clothes and cut her hair in the town square. You cannot but feel sheer pain as you hear the injustice and pain Malena felt as she sat and cried while covering her exposed breasts. How terrible it must have been for Malena and how lonely she must have felt through the difficult years.

I understand how it feels to walk in Malena's shoes.

The world is wicked to a woman who is without a man.

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All I want is someone to talk to and laugh with. I want a companion so I can share how my day has been and spend time with. I don't need someone 24 hours everyday but I need companionship and comfort a few hours every few days. Is it too much to ask?

I don't need many different men. I need just one man that I can get along and feel comfortable with. I want one man that I can laugh with and see the brighter side of life. I want someone who is there to protect me and save me from everything around me. How difficult is it to be with one man that I can get along and feel happy with?

Try walking in my shoes for a day. Do you know how difficult it is to live when everyone around you knows that there is no man to walk beside you? Women feel insecure when you are around because they feel you are threat. They are angry because their lovers' eyes strayed. Many men think they stand a chance since you are perceived to be weak when there is no man to hold your hand. These men continually hound and stalk you, even when you have firmly rejected them and said “no”.

Why does society feel that I am a social outcast just because I do not have a man around me? Why do people take advantage of women who do not have men around their lives? It is difficult enough to live on my own. Can you help me by being a little more considerate and understanding of my circumstances?

Why can't anyone understand that I am just human? I am human and that I feel lonely. I have stood alone at parties and battled loneliness in the company of many people. I have watched everyone sit in pairs, talking and enjoying themselves while I was seated with the old widows, single women in their 40s and the occasional side table holding pots of hot tea and cutleries.

Most of my friends are all married with husbands and kids at home. And yet, I do not have any children of my own. Consequently I have ample time to do things that I enjoy. There are no hindrances for me to pursue a new hobby, activity or to go out with friends. I am not bound by commitments such as children or mortgages and so I am not bound to the kitchen sink like how many of my friends are. So what am I to do with my spare time if not to go out with friends?

I am young, independent and free. I do not want to stand alone in any pubs or clubs. I do not want to eat alone in a restaurant or have coffee in Starbucks on my own. And why should I be alone in any pubs, clubs, restaurants or coffee houses? I am too young but yet I feel I have lived half my life as a widow. Why can’t anyone understand this simple truth?

I can’t take this sort of stress any longer. My spirit is worn out by constant rumor mongering. I feel stressed out when I hear gossips that I am going out with this person or that person, when I am not. I can’t take any more rumors that I am a flirt or that I cannot settle down with a man because I know that I am not. I know who I am when Alex is by my side.

Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and disappearing to some god forsaken island for a few months. I don’t see you. I don’t see Alex. Don’t see any of my friends, MiniBoyFriends or any other persons. Imagine an old lady, who was found three days after she had died and the local newspaper ran stories of how her eyes, ears and fingers were eaten by the 30 hungry stray cats she had kept for companionship.

Maybe that lady will be me.




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Related Links

• A poem about pain and beauty: You Are Beautiful.


• Read more about Malena, the movie.