About Nude Not Naked

I have been stealing. I have been stealing pages of “A Short History Of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson each time I am in a shopping mall. I would make my way to the nearest bookstore, perhaps a MPH or a Popular or a Times and I would open yet another page and read.

So I have been stealing little sections of the book and I loved each page that I read. Despite my exterior, I happen to be quite a wellread chick. I think I am quite an opinionated person, able to respect differing views but fully capable of avoiding the most motivated Multi Level Marketting marketer (what do you call those people anyway?).

People assume that you are a bimbo because you are obsessed with your body image and presentation. People think you are an airhead because you sacrifice time and energy to look a certain way. People like to believe that you are stupid just because you enjoy being a girl, play dress up and do girl stuff. Perhaps people feel better about themselves when they feel that way about you, so you must forgive.

So who are these people?

My father, for one. I showed him “A Short History Of Nearly Everything” when I finally bought it over last weekend, edging him to read some pages while I took a shower. As I wrote “Of Blinky Mummy, The Unromantics and The Little Prince” he came knocking on my door. Father came in, handed the book back to me and asked, “You bought this for your office? Or are you reading this?”

I was taken aback. I replied in a rather huff puff tone that I read it. I bought it for myself and I read the bloody book! Page 35 to be precise, after spending the initial 20 pages in bookstores. He said he was surprised that I read it since it was essentially a book that charted the world’s history.

Okay.... So a quarter of the books in my library were written by women who cursed the day man was created and a quarter more celebrated strong women. The remaining books were mostly about fashion and interior design and a tiny section on books by Ian Banks and now Bill Bryson (just because I love smart men). This does not mean that I am dumb.

Next few people would be the rest of my life, which consists on a mother and two brothers. My mother is a very strong personality, who has very high expectation from her children. While most mothers teach their daughters the art applying make-up, go clothes shopping, talk about how thin, how fat they are and sometimes slurp tea during weekends, my mother stripped away every essence of being a girl from me. She talked about being strong, independent and learned. She challenged me to do more things with my life.

If not for the fact that I am a very stubborn and strong willed child, I am sure that I would be dressed in some butch-like khaki green utilitarian uniform, walking with legs slightly apart, swift and rigid like soldiers in a march and had a short crew cut ala Natalie Portman in “V For Vendetta”. Alas that would not be so because I am relatively girlish and done so all on my own as I have no sisters nor real close cousins. E and PY are the closest “sisters” I have in this life of mine.

“Why keep looking at yourself in the mirror?” my mother asked me this morning. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, alternating between a black pair of super high pumps and a white 70s pair with a appliqué flower on each shoes.

“Because girls always look in the mirror,” I replied. I took the black pair off and wore the white pair. Decision was made. “Girls are made to look at the mirror and if you do not look in the mirror, perhaps it is time that you really reflect on your life by looking at the mirror.”

Three minutes later, feeling not satisfied, I said, "Why do you want me to be like you when you are so unhappy with your life?".

Those were very sharp words for a 9:00 a.m. Wednesday morning.

My two brothers are an interesting lot. The older of the two discovers that after five years of relationship, he does not have much to talk to his girlfriend and the younger is without a girlfriend since he broke up with his college sweetheart after graduation.

I can see their secret glances and sniggers whenever I meticulously get dressed, even for small Sunday family dinners. They think that I am a bimbo whenever I wear the super low cut blouse or backless tops for parties and clubbing, that I am being irresponsible for the four years of unrestrained drinking and dancing sessions and that I am just plain stupid for all that I am. You will now realise that I am not the only opinionated one in my family.

And as I have previously written, the things that you seek are often the very things closest to your heart. In my humble opinion, their “I am bored with my girlfriend” complaints are mere (future) excuses to find for a partner who is more adventurous and quite possibly a little seductive, sprinkled with lots of girlish giggles and feminine smell. Perhaps I am wrong and they will marry their responsible and totally down-to-earth girlfriends. Only time can tell. Such is life.

So what if I own 28 pairs of shoes, spend RM800 on clothes every month and replace all my g-strings every third month? Did I commit a crime against humanity by purchasing a new eye colour that I will only use twice or a nail colour every weekend? Is there anything wrong if I make my favourite watering hole and Starbucks my second and third homes respectively? All these things and more, they do not make me a better person neither does it make me anymore stupid.

If you for a moment sit down with me and open your eyes, maybe you will see that there is more to me than just all the superficial things you assume me to be. And if you do not even understand this basic notion, perhaps you think you know me well but you don’t know me.




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Related Links

• You Think You Know Me Well But You Don't Know Me - Part One


• You Think You Know Me Well But You Don't Know Me - Part Two


• You Think You Know Me Well But You Don't Know Me - Part Three