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Sunday, April 09, 2006
Stale Sperms, Rotten Eggs and Nude, Not Naked's Sex Survey

I chatted on Yahoo! Messenger with my high school sweetheart two nights ago. In many ways, he is my best friend and yet, there are times that he absolutely drives me insane. High school lovers, in an age where everything was sweet and innocent. These days we talk and meet up whenever possible, often with me promising NOT to meet him again for a long time.

One of the best things I loved about him was his intelligence (yes, I am a sucker for intelligent men) and his knowledge of a lot of things. Intelligent conversations are sexy, words get me off and so naturally I am very attracted to smart men (smart, not "sweet" like Mark). This ultimately became our relationship's downfall. Perhaps we are both very strong willed (as first child often are) and we refuse to compromise on our stands and beliefs. We get into really heated arguements NOT ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP but about trivial things that seemed to matter then, such as gravity, logic, The Da Vinci Code and especially church stuff.

Ever played The Sims? If you did, then you notice that when your Sims interacting, you get plus signs and other times, negative signs. Right? Well imagine me getting all negative signs when high school sweetheart and I start talking about stuff!

He was my back up. I think it was in year 2000 when I was with Alan that high school sweetheart came back into my life (after our 2nd break up). Alan and I got along very well and I was very loved, so it was quite obvious that I did not want to pursue a relationship with high school sweetheart for the third time. I felt that I had outgrown him, just like I had outgrown some of my old friends, Barbie dolls and some tea party sets. I made him my back up plan. Spare tyre, if you wish to call him that. I told him that if we were both not married the time I turned 28, we would then marry.

Quite an abvious choice and rather logical. If a woman can't find a man she can love enough to marry and have kids with, why not marry and have kids with your longest friend? Made sense to me when I was 26 years olds and to a certain extend, it still makes sense to me now. Imagine me teasing him just as I approached my 28th birthday, telling him to get ready to be married. I freaked the poor boy out! *hahaha*

"We are going to get married and live happily ever after. Aren't you excited?" I kept emphasizing the point that he promised to be my back up plan.

Below is a snippet of our egg, sperm, relationship and procreation conversation. Translation is in blue, for native English readers.

Otto: Aisay… (Sigh)
Otto: Why tak kawin? (Why not married?)
Otto: Don't so choosy!! (Don’t be choosy in your choice)
Otto: Nasib baik you are a man. (Good thing that you are a man)
Otto: Your sperm not lapuk. (Your sperm does not go stale)
High school sweetheart: Huh ? (Disbelief)
High school sweetheart: Got such thing ? (Is there such a thing?)
Otto: Of course lah (Of course!)
Otto: Women above 40s tend to have slow kids.
High school sweetheart: When become lapuk ? (When does my sperm become stale?)
Otto: Sperm not lapuk because produce fresh. (Sperm do not go stale because they are produced fresh)
Otto: Eggs are created from birth.
Otto: So my eggs dah 30 yrs old. (So my eggs are 30 yrs old)
High school sweetheart: yakss telur busuk (Yucks, smelly egg!)
High school sweetheart: You ladies are dirty!
Otto: Imagine your mother's lah (Imagine your mother’s!)
High school sweetheart: So start using them lah. (So why don’t you start using them eggs?)
Otto: Suck them out and keep in bank.
High school sweetheart: U did that? (You sucked them out?)
Otto: No lah! (No!)
Otto: Wah come to think of it, thank goodness I have Alex. (Come to think of it, thank goodness I have Alex)
Otto: or else I need to pinjam your sperm (Or else I would need to loan some of your sperm)
High school sweetheart: Shit!!!!
High school sweetheart: Give u for what? (Why should I give you?)
High school sweetheart: Must earn it lah (You must earn it)
Otto: Rubbish!!!

Here are some valid questions that might bug you. I know it bugged me. I know it bugged Suanie and FA.
We live in a very hectic and hurried world. Family concepts are also fast evolving, adjusting itself to the quick pace lifestyle we experience, especially in the bigger cities. Our mothers and grand mothers married and had kids without blinking their eyes. Pursuing an education and subsequently a career has altered women and their perception of relationships and parenthood.

How does all these things affect you? Does it affect men too? Or is this just a question for the girls?

Answer the questions listed below. Please include your name (pseudo name is fine), age, gender, occupation, education background and citizenship when you reply. A little note from you is appreciated.

Forward all answers to

Privacy will be respected. Thank you.

Closing date line is 10th May. Results and data will be published on 15th May 2006.

Useful tip!! Copy and paste the following questions into your mail, complete them and send to
  • Are you sexually active at the moment?

  • At what age did you have sex for the first time?

  • Did you feel you were prepared for sex the first time it happened?

  • How many partners have you had? (a. Less than 5 partners b. 6-10 partners c. above 10 partners

  • What type of sex precations are you taking now? (eg: using a condom & contraceptive pills)

  • How did you learn about safe sex practices (pregnancy prevention, safe sex and sexual transmited diseases)? (eg: friends, pornsites, internet sites, medical books, parents, doctors etc)

  • (On the scale of 1 being poor and 5 being well informed) How would you rate your knowledge about sex and sexual transmitted diseases?

  • Do you worry about having children at a later age?

  • Are you afraid that you might not find a trust worthy partner to share parental responsibilities with?

  • When is a suitable time for marriage and parenthood?

  • How do you plan for these lifechanging experiences?

  • How important is motherhood to you?

  • How important is giving birth to your own flesh and blood is to you and your partner?

  • If you are not able to find a suitable partner, would you rather be a single parent and raise a child that you can afford?

  • Would you adopt, if you are not able to have a child (for whatever reason)?

  • Would you freeze your eggs or donate your sperms to a bank? Would you use the facilities to have a family of your own?

Invite your friends to particpate in this survey. Just send them this link --->

Girls, I wonder how many of us actually made back up plans with some former lovers? I actually got high school sweetheart to promise me his sperm, in case I could not find a suitable partner to share a child with. Not your typical girl next door, Miss Otto =)

And if you have not, perhaps you should reach for that precious number, start dialling and get yourself a back up plan!!!

Or you can do as the fashionable Angelina did. Fly to Cambodia, adopt a spanky new baby from an orphanage, give him a nice hair cut and the coolest name (lots of toys and tonnes of love) and be named the Hottest Mama on earth - do all this and more while keeping your figure.




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