Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Twelve Things You Never Knew About Otto
| My names For rather practical reasons, my real name is not Otto. The name Otto was assumed when I started this Nude, Not Naked six months ago. I was comtemplating between two choices for my blog name – Otto and V – and as you are reading my blog now, you realised that I have chosen Otto. Otto is special, you see. It has the gift of palindrome. You can read the name forwards, from the left to the right: OTTO. You can still read the name OTTO, backwards from the right to the left. My real life name can be read backwards too. It is not palindrome (the word must read the same when read backwards) but it can be read backwards. Now I have tried this word play with my other friends and there are not many of us which possess the ability to use our names when spelled backwards. Try it with your name. Tell me if your name can be read backwards. Side note I had the opportunity of meeting a girl named Otto three years ago. She was the lesbian lover of a fancy smancy woman working in the Malaysian fashion scene. She had the most ethereal qualities I had seen a long, long time, a sense of calmness, perhaps the calmness before a storm brews on. Dreamer I am a dreamer. I do not mean day dreaming. I mean the gift of dreams, where dreams possess an instinctual nature. I have dreamt odd dreams, dreams of places I am yet to visit and dreams of a spiritual sense. Once I dreamt two men sitting opposite each other. I recognized one as a man I was introduced to during a function while the other was a stranger. It was a typical Malay village house and it was dusty, old and smoky. I saw a bowl of water, some limes and a knife laid between them and as they were reciting what my Yin eyes perceived to be a love charm, the older of the two men (whom I felt was a witch doctor) took the knife and plunged it into what I later felt was my heart. That dream was scary because I dreamt that I was an invisible spectator in that dream but towards the end, the dream popped into my reality, which I had to fight off. Two nights ago, I had a similar disturbing but (I think) revealing dream. I dreamt that I bought eight little kittens and cared for them at home. Also present in that dream was a man who gave me a ring shaped like a serpent. I did not feel comfortable receiving the ring but took it anyway because it was a social situation, which required me to do so. And when I reached home, my little kittens pounced on the ring. What makes these dreams different from other dreams is, these dreams linger on and affects me when I awake. They beg of my attention and warrant some amount of reflection. Some call it the gift of intuition. Some say it is hocus pocus. I call it something that I live with everyday, that has on more than one occasion, helped me with my life puzzles. My Yin Eyes When I was a child, I could see human shaped shadows walking or running. It was more noticable along staircases, which led me to believe that staircases perhaps symbolized moving from one level to another. When my grandfather passed away when I was seven, I was the one who saw insects coming home on the seventh day. Chinese believe that the dead visits the home on the 7th day for three consecutive days, normally in the form of insects. Followed the grasshopper on the first night as it ran errands in the house the way my grandfather would - shower, sit at his favourite chair, etc. I can tell if a house had unwanted guests or a terrible history. Do not ask me how I do it. I just do. I am however, not a ghost whisperer. I do not talk to any spirits at all. So you guys do not need to email me for lucky numbers. I might bump into them as I go about my daily tasks. I love antiques and old houses. These days however, I no longer see them when I am awake. Some might visit when I sleep, which are more of a nuisance than anything else. Stalkers I do not really like to talk about this in real life but I somehow attract attention of the wrong kind. You want to know if a person is obsessing about you? Ask me, I can tell. I am not talking about infatuation or high school crushes. I am not talking about the healthy type of love rush. I am talking about nut cases who dedicate their waking hours, tracking what you do, where you live etc. I have this one in particular, who scares the bejeesuz of out me each time I see him. “You are Otto, right?” once he asked me. I was hiding in a secret place, away from the crowd in the pub when I saw him walking in. I stood there for what felt like minutes, wondering if I should answer yes or no. I decided to tell the truth, less he becomes confused or insane as a result of my ‘lie’. “Yes,” I said. The word felt painful as it slipped my mouth. I imagine I must have closed my eyes and took a deep breath to regulate what was unfolding before me. “Well I thought you were Otto,” he said, pursuing a ciggie on his bottom lip, “because you looked like Otto.” He then told me what car I drove and where I lived. Gee, I feel so safe, I thought to myself. My Greatest Fear One of my greatest fear is envisioning my grandchild calling me a boring old woman. I want my children and grandchildren to see that I am a woman who had led an excellent life. Not necessary of happiness, pony rides and rainbows but one that was meaningful and beautiful. I want to be remembered as someone who was young and beautiful. Who was loved and hated, treasured and respected, passionately wooed and fervently avoided. I want to be able to feel with my heart and my hands, to feel the greatest highs and perhaps I have already gone through the lowest lows. I am not afraid of emotions and not afraid to feel disappointment nor pain. I want people to remember me as someone who loved life and had a great reason for living. I do not need people to say that I had a great life. I just want to say I had a life that was beautiful, filled with people I loved, great food and beautiful things. I want people to remember that I was fun, adventurous and a giving spirit. I want to sit on the rocking chair, looking as poised as a grandmother can, telling my grandson, “Your grandma was a somebody before she became old and frail and if you have a minute, grandma will tell you a story like no other.” A Long Time Ago Otto Joined A Beauty Contest Of Sort Okay it was not a beauty contest. It was Clairol's Search for the Essential Woman. It was some sort of a promotion thingy. I did it on a bet because my mother said I would not survive the contest and would not be chosen (because I damn kaku - "stiff" in English) She was right (DAMN!). I made it to the top 15 contestants, met a Miss Hawaiian Tropics, a Miss Chinese Town runner up and a future Miss Malaysia World. That experience, one that I would never repeat in my life ever, opened my eyes to a thing or two. Hilarious moments include
I will never do it ever again but R-E-S-P-E-C-T-A-! to those stick thin models who sashay up and down the runway. It was hard earned money. First Interview - A Taste of Otto's Innocence I encouraged E to join SIA when we completed our O Levels. She was and still is a sociable person, who loved meeting people, so I thought that air stewarding was an excellent career choice for my gal pal who was not interested in pursuing further education. On that fateful day, PY, E and I went for the interview. A few things that you need to remember as I relate this story. 1. We were young, barely out of school at 17. 2. I did not possess any dress sense whatsoever at all. My mother believed in scholarly achievements and made it a point never to encourage me to be 'pretty'. 3. My social circle consisted of church activities. In the interview room, one had to stand and read a passage that was provided by SIA. Then comes the actual interview... SIA man: So tell me, do you go out for parties often? Otto: Oh no, I don't go out to parties. They are evil. I prefer to go to church and pray. That reply brought my air stewarding career to an immediate halt. E, on the other hand, breezed through the interview and was called for the 2nd, which she turned down. Now that is a taste of who I was when I was a child... pure innocence of a dove. And now that I am grown, I am writing about love, relationships and sex.... and MENJ called me an erotica blogger. To be honest, I kinda liked that *cheeky grin* because it is so not me in real life. High Heels and Aching Legs I can't help it. Wearing heels must be my greatest pet peeve. I tell myself each morning as I wrestle with my shoes, that I should perhaps rest my aching legs by wearing a pair of flats for the day. So I reach out for a pair of flats (my Aldo Chinese inspired satin flats or my latest dark brown suede Aldo flats with pom poms) and put them on. I walk to the mirror, see my reflection and feel so put off by my lack of height that I totter to the shoe rack and grab the highest heel my hands can lay on. Walk to the mirror again and a sigh of absolute relieve would follow suit. This high heel obsession of mine is so bad that I even vacumm the house wearing my heels when I was in Kent. I cooked wearing basketweaved 3 inch Pedder Reds. I ironed clothes in 3.5 inch honeys. I type at my iBook wearing 3 inch babies. I am manic when it comes to proportion and if I am not born with the perfect proportion, I will wear them to perfection! Picking My Cherry Who do you think would knot a cherry stalk the fastest? Suanie? Minishorts? Kimberlycun? XiaXue? Dawn Yang? FA? Melancholy Thongs? KinkyBlueFairy? BlackJetta? Otto? Perhaps some boys should organize a night out and we'll soon find out. Me put bet on KinkyBlueFairy 'cos there is just something about those braces...... or XX 'cos she'll probably knot a stalk as fast as the Hokkein words coming out her mouth. I can knot a cherry stalk with my tongue. Amongst my friends, I usually come up top. So I am not only nimble with my fingers, I am quick with my tongue. It is a crying shame that I am not brave enough to go for a tongue piercing *booooooo* Satisfaction and Stickiest Situations I have the innate talent of getting myself into the stickiest of situations. I am sure that you would have realised that as you read Nude, Not Naked. Sometimes I wonder if these things happened only to me. I wonder if they became a part of my reality because I wanted them to be, to allow myself step out towards the edge of everything. You see, writers do not write from nothing.... you either lived it or was inspired by someone who did. Numbers I hate numbers. I love words but I absolutely abhor numbers. They give me a headache. My pet cat Milo can add better than me because I hate putting figures into my head. And when I do use numbers, I have formed a distinct method of adding and subtracting that is self-styled. I really can't be bothered to explain the methods but suffice to say, it gets me thru shopping in 1U *hehehe* For The Love Of God I cannot sing. Please do not drag me to a karaoke joint, if we ever met. Ever. I swear, I will not go. I will not humilate myself again. |
The cherry not thing is NOT easy! I tried it before! Its hard man!
well well... names in palindrome? Well, the name IAN isn't cut up for one. But what if you arrange it not only in a backwards front manner, but also upside down? Which goes like this...
iAN - NV!
Get it?
Nicky
Well we don't want boys knotting cherries than the girls.................
Ian
I get it... but your name does read quite well backwards too - NAI.... perhaps more oriental than your current.
So what are you doing down under?
p/s: will reply email later in the day :)
yin eyes??
ouuu don't you ever get scared?
Jas
Only when I am asleep, so it just complicates sleep patterns... I would be spooked if I could see them with my eyes wide open!!!
Thus I hardly watch any horror movies... suspense only my hati...
what is a cherry knot?
Anon 2:40 p.m.
There is a game played when one gets tipsy... or bored.... it involves girls knotting cherry stalks with only the use of their tongue.
If you do not understand what I mean, you just need to find a cherry stalk and pop it in your mouth. Rotate and manipulate the stalk in your mouth until you can tie a knot on it.
And that's how the cherry knot is made!
you win. i can't do things with my tongue :(