About Nude Not Naked

It was on Tuesday that the girls gathered. There in the usual corner, hidden from prying eyes and human traffic, we girls sat. We were friends since high school, which sometimes felt like forever. Especially now that we are getting older and everything seemed to move along faster.

E showed us some photographs taken from the Hong Kong Sevens. The whole event seemed smashing with a sea of party people out to rock the tiny island for a weekend and a little more. The south side of the stadium, where E and her friends were at, was the place to be. There you would find the strangest costumes. She swore that she saw some penguins, presumably from Happy Feet.

We exchanged stories and kept each other updated with the latest events going on in our lives. E and I met PY’s contemplation if she should purchase the imported marble for her new house with a strong ‘what the fuck for?’. The flooring, which would cost RM16k, could not be appreciated by the time she arranged her very sturdy and huge furniture pieces on it. Whilst acknowledging what we said was true, I think PY has her heart set on the Norwegian marble.

When my turn came, I spoke not of myself. There is nothing much to speak other than a story of how I am dissatisfied with my life. Still. Again. I told them a story instead. I quite fancy myself being a relationship observer and thus asked them for their opinions regarding another girlfriend of mine.


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Let’s call this girl June. June has been on a stable relationship with a man. This guy loves her very much. They are nearly inseparable in the previous five years together. Each weekend night you would see this pair out and they are hardly ten metres from one another. Everything was fine and dandy when they started but now as they embark on their fifth year, she is questioning the status and future of their relationship.

June had worked very hard and in the span of their relationship, her salary has increased tremendously and is now even more than her boyfriend’s. She plays hard, so she works hard to earn her keep. She is intelligent, articulate and immensely popular among the girls and boys. The last time we spoke was last week and June was remarking how she wished her boyfriend would put in more effort to earn a little more.

‘So we can afford more things and I don’t have to feel so stressed up trying to earn the money all the time,’ June said.

The fact that she is very attractive does not help the situation either. The life of the party and the social queen, June has various men after her at any given time. If you know of anyone who is the most envied and most sought after? That girl would be like June. She is the best catch for the next 100 kms in radius.


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PY felt that it was not a good enough excuse for June to break up with her boyfriend. June had not right to break up with a good man and by any account, the definition of ‘good’ meant that he was a decent bloke who was responsible, caring and hardworking.

‘She can’t break up with her boyfriend just because her boyfriend’s salary cannot support both their lifestyles at the moment,’ PY said. ‘If he isn’t providing shelter and food, by all means June can break up with the man. But if she wants to wine and dine in posh restaurants for every meal and wear only Marc Jacobs, then perhaps June should look at herself.’

PY had a point. June was not lacking in anything. She had an above average lifestyle. She travels and holidays twice a year, eats at fancy restaurants on weekends and stayed in a decent house. What June wanted was the comfort and luxury of being able to take a backseat in the financial department, when and if she and the boy started having a family.

E disagreed with PY and I agreed with E. June, being the smart girl that she is, has a right to choose who she wishes to spend her life with. And if she can get a better catch, no one should judge her for it. Why should she settle for a Nissan when she could be driving a Ferrari? Is love a sufficient reason to deny herself of the better lifestyle she could have had?

In general I think society look at these girls with great disdain. Society blames girls like June for the fall of good family and moral values. Greedy for money and better living, many might say. Sure not happy one, some might add. But seriously who are we to judge what is best for her? Who are we to tell her that she should stick to her man when she can be with someone who can help and support her better?

A question we should ask ourselves is, ‘Would I break up with my current boyfriend if there is someone out there who is better?’ Better yet. Ask ourselves honestly are we just jealous that she can be with someone better? Jealous that it wasn’t us that got the boy? Would we have done the same given the circumstances?

Do you turn down a comfortable and easier lifestyle for you and your future children just because you feel that you love your boyfriend? What makes you think that the new suitors knocking on June’s door will not be able to love and understand her as much as her current boyfriend? Maybe one or more of them is able to love and understand her more. Where do you draw the line? When is it enough?


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‘Ask June to try the glass and water test,’ the Bachelor said. "A beautiful, intelligent and articulate girl like June needs to do the glass and water test. It is very humbling and reminds you that you aren't God.'

To be honest, I scratched my head. That was exactly what I did. Okay, so June was this tall chick with her blings. She bought her everything and she has a line of eligible men queueing at her front door. She does not need more money but she wanted to have someone who could care for her, for a change. If you could get a better job offer, you'd jump at it, I thought to myself. It is essentially the same. Even for relationships. If you would jump at a better job offer, why can't you jump when there is a better man?

He took a glass to the sink and filled it up with tap water. Standing next to me, he asked me to dip my index finger into the glass. I did exactly as told. The Bachelor then asked me to lift my finger. I followed his instructions, waiting for the catch. The point that the Bachelor wanted to make. But I did not catch it. All I saw was a drop of water running from my finger back into the glass.

‘What’s your point?’ I asked.

‘Is there a hole where you dipped your finger in the water?’ he asked.

I shook my head and firmly said, “nope.’ I still did not quite catch it.

The Bachelor smiled. ‘Until you are able to leave a hole in the water, you might want to consider yourself replaceable’. Look into the mirror. That was what the Bachelor said. If you think you deserve better, perhaps you do. Then again, always remember, you are replaceable. You aren't infinite and you aren't God. You might think that you are but honestly, you aren't. And you should always bear this in mind until you are able to leave a mark in the water.

It was one of the best illustrations I have experienced in a long time and I am sure that this simple glass and water test would keep me humble for a long time to come.

'Until you are able to leave a hole in the water,
you might want to consider yourself replaceable'.
~ The Bachelor on women and their vanities.