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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
On Being A (Smart) Woman

I have discovered late in life (that is like in the last two years or so) that there are just some rules that aren't meant to be broken. Women have traditional roles. So do men. And women in the past did not have as much problem as the modern day woman does. Yes, some older ladies put up with being 2nd wives or abused in relationships and the feminist movement is all about empowering women these days to stand up for themselves and do their own "thang".

But seriously, we still hear female partners (in a relationship) being abused, women having less opportunities as men, disparity of treatment between men and women at work etc etc. We aren't feeling any better about ourselves. We are overworked because we think we should pay for half of our roti canai and half of the bottle of muruku we bought from the pasar malam. And we still need to change the soiled diaper!

Did I mention the negative body image most of us have these days? Which year was it when curvy was sexy and real boobs were "in"? All the evil, evil magazines are telling us that we are too fat, our thighs are 2 inches too thick and how we should treat our imaginary eye bags. We lust after shoes so hot off the catwalk, they left scratch marks on the floor.

Women these days try hard to study and subsequently work so they'll gain a measure of independence (financially and emotionally). We dream of climbing the corporate ladder like a super woman, then drive home in our swanky car, cook the delicious meal, bath the kid and then have our facial. We want to travel, have girly nights and do everything a modern day woman is supposed to do.

I don’t know if you have noticed this but many women are too exhausted. Others are on Xanax or some form of anti depressants. Many are still as lost and confused as our previous generations. We did not make a leap forward. We took three steps behind. Now we have to have the kid and pay half the bills!

Where is the romance when you have to flip out your calculator to divide the nice dinner and wine you shared with the new man you met at the office during your first dinner date? Why is it so difficult for women to graciously accept a nice invite to dinner and at the end of the night, just thank the man for being such a wonderful company?

It is not uncommon these days to hear of households where the woman earns more than the man. We no longer bat an eye when we hear such “gender equality”. But seriously, most relationships will succumb to the societal pressure, whereby men have the traditional role of being the breadwinner. Sooner or later, the man or the woman (although chances are both) would resent the fact that the woman paid for the man’s shaving cream, the newly acquired PlayStation3 and four Celine Dion CDs.

So if you were to ask me about this whole women liberation and women empowerment thingy, I’d say it is all a big yellow bunch of hairy crock. Earning as much as the man does not make him respect you more or appreciate you more.

Dressing in outrageous clothes and piercing 22 parts of your body just because you can, does not make you appear anymore liberated than the 50 year old makcik in hijab. Perhaps a tad cooler (as in temperature wise, not fashion sense) but that’s about all it does.

Paying half of everything from your tampons to your leg shaving cream will not make you a happier person. Neither will paying his half of everything.

Having sex like the man next door does nothing to improve women liberation. Neither does it empower our gender. All you will get is herpes and perhaps a baby, if you are not too careful. Ok, so you can go an abortion because that was part of the women’s rights movement yadda yadda yadda but even an abortion is detrimental to your female form.

Think about it. What is important to you at the end of the night? I think the list I am about to offer is quite universal. You want acceptance and appreciation from your family and your friends. You want love from a partner that understands you and who treats you well. You want a meaningful life, filled with things that you desire and long for. Obviously everyone wants to achieve their personal amount of material lifestyle and that would include you and I. And if you are lucky, you get to wake up and do something that you enjoy.

You do not get that by protesting for women’s rights. You do not get that by being “equal” with a man. You do not get anything by jumping around like a racoon on heat, demanding for equal treatment and fairness and equality. It already exists. You just need to find the right people for it.

Your company will acknowledge the most efficient team member because efficiency matters at the end of the day. Or you walk on over to the competitors, with all your contacts.

The right man will love and respect you for just being you. You do not need fancy job titles or a purse as big as his chequebook to earn a man’s love. You just need to be smart when finding for love. Find for someone who would appreciate and love you for being you – smart, sassy, independent, intelligent, weak, happy. Find someone who loves you for being a fragile beautiful creature God called woman.

I do not need any movement to tell me how to manage my relationship or how to have my family. I do not need any protest to raise my value as a woman in society. So burn down the placards. Boo the feminism movement. Kick the equality whatever mumbo jumbo shit out the door.

I am all for celebrating the joys of being nothing more than a woman. Beautiful. Intelligent. Pained. Resilient during the hardest hours. Forward thinking. Emotional. Smart. Intuitive. Fragile like dew at the first sign of day.

This post came about after reading Suanie’s post “Female Empowerment – Sure Or Not?”. In it Suanie mentioned female empowerment through the music videos. To be precise, she mentioned the new prevailing trend of female singers singing about being strong (financially, emotionally or sexually) while walking around the Bronx in shorts that technically should be called “Sho” because they are so short they have to drop the end letters. Or how women can buy their own bling, do their own thing, have their own pad and how they threw ten men out the door like used tampons while still strutting around the music video with cellophane taped titties. Suanie questioned the validity of the lyrical statements because all she saw was how their sex sold them to triple platinum and seven Grammy nominations.

Personally Suan, I think it is the industry. It is the industry. Anyone who enters the entertainment industry knows that sex sells. Whilst it is true that the ladies in the 60s wore pretty dresses that did not pop nor did they experience any wardrobe malfunctions on stage, it was the unwritten rule that sex sold and it still does today. The only difference is the listeners or viewers have changed. We are a desensitized lot. Skimpy clothing is so common these days that green aliens with big friendly eyes would think flesh revealing and boobs popping dresses are human’s costume (like the cheongsam but on the world scale since we are talking about friendly aliens here). Even walruses would think so too.

At the end of the day, for whatever you want to call it, singing and being an entertainer is a job. Sorry to jolt you out of your dream but my dears, even Mary J Blige goes to work. Yes, so do the Pussy Cat Dolls. They aren’t paid to sleep in bed all day and if they did sleep all day, they would not survive the industry. And if singing about milkshakes and wearing short skirts will put food on their table, they will do it. The very same way you smile at an annoying customer this morning.

It is your job to please your customer and if a million bopping teenagers want to hear you and four other band boys sing about how your sorry heart is broken, you will do just that. Even if it means you have to play the cute teenager with braces, trying to grow up while earning millions in front of even more millions of people. Or a tough 9 year old with a name like “Lil Kool Kat” singing about what love is when the only love you experience is perhaps a love for sugar rush.

The entertainment industry is not the place to preach good morale behaviour or to be righteous. If you want to find good virtue, try a religious establishment. Good luck because that is about your best shot. Everyone else is just surviving to work. And that includes Paris Hilton and her lost home videos.

Don’t you feel comforted as you rush to work on Thursday morning?

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well written, i dont really think telling a man if he wishes his gf was hot like me is a nice thing 2 do.we girls r suppose 2 look out 4 each other and how is that girl power? what happen to do onto others that u expect onto u?
hope ur feeling better.

1:36 am  

anon: basically i think it is in our inate nature to be selfish. it is a common human nature (not male or female just simply human). so instead of worryin all the time about lookin out for each other....why don't we just try lookin out for ourself first before providing or expecting any help from others (be it from our own or from the opposite gender).

otto: your post probably explains what i'm tryin to say to "anonymous". don't sit around waiting for some die hard activist to march around parliament with placards demanding rights which they probably do not fully understand.

i also agree and thank YOU for appreciating the fact that some of us men also wouldn't mind if "some" women would stop stereotyping the opposite gender all the time. "anonymous" herself said and i quote " onto others that u expect onto u" though not said in the correct way but generally sums up the whole issue at hand. not all men are "abusive drunk insensitive smelly rotten unappreaciative couch potato slave drivers" like "most" women make us out to be. there are SOME good guys out there still although i have to say "some" of the "materialistic money-grabbing cheating lying bitchin" women have probably scared these rare souls into permanent self exile.

7:18 am  

Give it time. Men have had generations to be independent. Women are only now getting their chance at it. Nobody learns to walk the first time. Both men and women have to learn to live with this new found freedom. So some will go the extra length of dividing everything. Some will demand more. Some will stay the same like their parents.

Sure at times it isn't as good as it should be. But it sure is so much better than it used to be. Women of this generation have more opportunities than my mothers generation did. My daughters generation will have more than this generation has. We are in a transition. The fact that you say you don't need it, shows how effective the whole feminism movement has become. The previous generation didn't have that luxury.

4:13 pm  

i agree, it should be about "personal empowerment" and not a gender issue. demanding "female empowerment" is hypocrisy.

and its easy for people to blame the entertainment/media industry so blatantly, but they've completely forgotten the core fact - it's a business. a money-making industry, and a downright dirty one. wonder who's laughing their way to the bank?

4:58 pm  

A long post but I enjoyed it. Like Madonna sang once " It is a material World" and It's all just an illusion but we live in it all the same. If you don't, you are not normal.

5:33 pm  

This is in response to the first section of your recent blog:

Oh dear. What a depressing blog. Do you vote by any chance? How do you think women achieved even that small thing? They didn’t do it staying at home doing the laundry, that’s for sure. Who do you think divided the ‘traditional’ rules you speak of? Who do you think it was decided that it would be down to the women in the office to make the coffee while the men played executive games all day? Who decided that women cooked, cleaned, ironed and washed while their men sat and read the newspaper (and hence had more access to information… but I won’t get into that now…)? I can tell you, it certainly wasn’t women!

And how on earth would you know if women were happier and more liberated ‘back in the old days’? Were you there?? You ask – ‘which year was it when women could be curvy etc’? – Well, let me think: it certainly wasn’t one hundred years ago, when women were constricting themselves to the point of breaking ribs in corsets! Even less than 50 years ago it was all a woman could hope for if she managed to get herself a husband, and god forbid she should get pregnant and be left with no choices, social shame, and often no money. Yes, those were wonderful years to be part of!!

When you say earning more money than the man does not make him respect you more. You seem to have completely missed the point! We’re not trying to earn equal (not more!) money than men in order to gain their respect – we’re doing for our self-respect!

Oh, and just for the record, cheaper tampons makes me VERY happy, thank you very much! They were taxed – in the UK and the US – under ‘luxury’ goods until 1999! Menstruation a luxury?? I don’t think so!! And also for the record, there is nothing in your list that is necessarily ‘universal’, especially as the only chance many women in the world (probably less privileged than you) have of getting up in the morning to do something they enjoy depends entirely upon their gaining equal rights with men. Oh, and while we’re on making things clear for the record, I certainly was not named woman by ‘God’, I was named woman by Man!

(thank goodness for bawangmerah - the only person talking sense so far)

9:01 pm  

The obvious problem with this gender equality shit is the name "man" and "woman". Being a woman myself, I sometimes question whether my gender has it all going in the right direction or not. If we try to imagine every human being as an individual with their own strengths and weaknesses, and not as a "man" or "woman", then I think a lot of these squabbles about women wanting to wear the men's pants and men retaliating back and etc. would go away.

2:32 am  

Yes you are "a fragile beautiful creature", which is why I think that you should not be allowed out of the house, or drive a car, or get a job, or be allowed to vote, or be allowed to choose who you marry, or be allowed to worry your pretty head with complicated things such as blogs and computers. You might break, or get ugly worry lines from thinking too much.

You need to be protected by men who will know what's best for you.

jennifletzet is quite right: the point is you don't realise how much the fight for equality has benefited people like you. You have a degree I think? Well my mother was not allowed to do one (in spite of finishing school a year early with top grades) because she was a woman. That was the 'traditional' role of women.

2:24 pm  

I think you should explore the issues a little more by reading:
1. The colour purple - Alice Walker
2. The Handmaid's tale - Margaret Atwood
3. The office - Alice Munro
4. A jury of her peers - Susan Glaspell
5. Feminism and the women's movement in Malaysia - An Unsung (R)evolution - Cecilia Ng et al

When you read the papers about an 8 year old girl being raped by her teacher, what dynamics do you think are at play?

Or when a woman in Malaysia has to forgo her salary whilst fighting a sexual harrasment case against her company because there are no proper laws/policy in place.

Or when a stewardess is fired because she had 3 children but stewards can have as many as they want?

gender equality is perhaps not wanting to be the same as men, ( the socialisation process is different la )but to be treated with as a human being with rights based on our differences.

the beauty of feminism is that it celebrates diversity and pluralism; and the feminism to be is providing a framework to question the way we live.

as bawang merah pointed out - it is in flux. everything is. even capitalism. socialism.

jennifletzet; julthefool, bawang merah: It is heartening to know there are people like you out there :)

2:44 am  

Oh boy, this is going to be a long one...

I agree wholeheartedly with what you've mentioned. We girls should stick together and give support where it is needed.

I am feeling a whole lot better. Thank you!

I am highly appreciative of men *hahaha* I grew up with them. I was cared for mostly by my father in the afternoons as my mother was away at work in afternoon school.

I think what Anon meant with her "do unto others" was in reference to girls doing things like knicking bfs etc etc..... that these girls should think twice before doing etc. Nothing in reference to men at all. Sorry.

And yes, there are good men out there as there are many good women. There are bad man out there, just like there are women who are giving other women a bad name.

It is indeed true that women our time has access to more things than previous generations. It has to do with many factors, one of which surely could be attributed to women and the feminist movement. However it could also be attributed to the fact that technology is advancing at such rapid speed and what we are able to experience today is a result of it.

Let's drink to our dream that our daughters will have more than us. Cheers!

I love what you said - SELF empowerment. It has positive connoctations and is not subjected to any race/gender/blah.

Hi Adam! So sorry if you found my post to be long... most of my posts tend to be long actually....... I guess I just have lots to share and since sharing is caring, I guess I care for my readers very very much *hahaha*

2:43 pm  

I am sorry but I just have to start my comment with this ---> My blog is depressing. Yes, I admit that it is sometimes depressing. As life can get depressing sometimes, so does the blog reflect it. But there are happy moments too, moments of love, pleasure, hope and sunshine.

However your blog is called "In The Company Of Wolves". I find that extremely depressing. I might be too quick to judge here but am I to assume that you are refering to yourself as in the company of wolves? Isn't that absolutely depressing? Unless you are a wolf too, of course.

Do you not think for a second that you are also stereotyping ALL MEN as one catergory ---> the ones that are waiting for their slippers, the ones that play executive games etc etc. I can attest to the fact that my father had a very active role in my early life. By saying what you are saying, you are insulting men who have worked hard and loved even harder.

Similarly I would ask you the question, "How do you know if women were happier back then? Were you there?". Women then dealt with a lot of shit. Women still deal with a lot of shit today.

Corsets were a fashion accessory. I can go on and on about the history of fashion and its implications on society etc (which obviously is co-related to our topic at hand) but I shall save it for another day.

During its heyday, corsets were used to create the appearance of a smaller waist and a larger bottom. It was fashionable to have HIPS then because it was a sign of fertility and health.

Thus women then sucked in all they could and don the tightest corset their ribcages could fit. Obviously a woman could so decide not to wear one and I am sure there were quite a few back then.

Regarding birth control options etc - it is a cultural issue. Whilst it was not acceptable to be pregnant out of wedlock then, it is still quite the same here in Malaysia today. You might not be stoned to death for carrying a baby without a wedding ring on your finger or a husband to call your own but trust me, you are still the social outcast.

Or are you? I know of families that mourn over it for somet time and then decide that they would love the daughter just the same and accept the child into the world with love. These families do their best to create options for the girl and the new baby. Is it because of some placards marching around the city's square or pure family love?

I am sorry if you feel that you need to earn more/higher/lower/similar amount of money in order to feel good about yourself. You should have other achievements in life, other things that you are proud of, other than purely profession monetary gain.

Unless of course you meant just earning ANY MONEY - then I don't have anything to add.... but then again, wasn't the feminist's arguement was indeed for a salary that MATCHES her male counterpart?

But I am saying the best for the last - Condoms ARE STILL CLASSFIED AS LUXURY ITEMS AND ARE TAXED ACCORDINGLY in the UK as I am typing this. Should the boys come out with their placards?

Do not mistake my burning of placards as a sign of weakness. I ran to the electoral office the minute I turned 21 to register myself as a voter and I have exercised my right TWICE in 9 yrs since then.

Like you, I would stand up and make my voice known for things that I am passionate for. Case in point would be my post on Independence this year, by far still the top most read post in my blog. Followed by the issue of virginity, which I discussed protection and woman health issues (especially for young girls). But I did these things without condemning anyone. Neither did I make another gender appear worse than dogs.

I am deeply passionate about women. This whole blog is about BEING A WOMAN! I have my own ways of discussing and disseminating my beliefs. It just does not involve protesting, marching or angry placards.

Good day, Jenni and I hope that soon you will no longer feel that you are so close to the wolves. All women deserve to be cherished, accepted and loved.

3:14 pm  

Hi there. Just came back from your blog. I am going to read some books written by noted feminists shortly after I am done with my 3rd read of "Marrying Buddha".

I have always considered myself a feminist for many long years and proud of the way I am able to fend for myself and do my own thing. I am a strong independent woman, like my mother and her mother before her.

But as I mature on, I realised sometimes many problems do lie within ourselves as women. Esp when it comes to how our nearest MEN treat us. Which is why I write a lot about being a woman, how it is to live as a modern day woman in a busy city, how like many of my sisters, I am juggling my work commitments with my personal, my dreams and my desires.

The only bit of feminist left in me says this and I quote, "I will wish to be born a woman again. We lead the most interesting lives".

With regards to your question on rape - does it matter who is rape? A little boy or a little girl? Rape is wrong, to whoever it is commited against. Even if to a "deserving" prostitute who wore nothing more than a piece of hankerchief. The act of rape is wrong and that's good enough reason to punish the perpetrator - be it man or woman, young or old.

Our laws will require change as society & its needs changes. This I agree, is a transitional phase, one that I will be glad we'll move on swiftly to a higher level. And yes, in order to secure a policy that favors a woman, we will need to do many things - including electing more women to represent our voice in the system, educating young people on the power of voting, discussing and talking to girls even from a young age, to inspire them to be great people in the future etc etc.

However when it comes to a stewardess, I will have to argue for the airlines. Most European countries do fly their mature stewardesses ard the world, even when they have had three kids. However as a company like SIA and MAS, it is within their rights to stipulate what requirements when hiring.

If they want to hire only the young girls (because these girls are a huge part of their marketing strategy) then it's their right to do so. A girl always have the option to work for other more favourable companies. Or to boycott the whole entire airline industry, leaving only fatty men with three kids to run the inflight services.

But I have a feeling that flying wouldn't be as wonderful as an experience as watching beautiful 20 year olds smiling and asking what you would like for lunch in economy class.

It's like MAS setting the height requirement. You can't fault them, saying their are prejudice against short people..........

I like the way you described the beauty of feminism - that it is a celebration of diversity and pluralism. I would like to believe that t women have always voiced their thoughts, even before the term "feminism" was born.

Queen Elizabeth 1 was a woman ahead of her time. She was uncharacteristically strong for being a woman in her time and no placard was burnt to teach her that. She was instrinsically born with the personality and perhaps grew up in an environment where her words/thoughts were cherished.

The same for my family - I am treated equally like my brothers. No one is exempted from any rule just because of whatever gender we were. I was never "dolled up" or told how beautiful/cute/pretty I was. I was told to grow up, speak my mind and be diligent.

My brothers had to do housework when we were young. They received no special favors just because they were boys. Being the eldest sibling, I taught the boys about being a girl - they went bra shopping with me *hahaha*

Even my father is uncharacteristically different. He does the family marketing on weekends and cooked us kids breakfasts each morning while we schooled. He was also the one who taught me about sex education and till today, I share more with him than I do with my mother.

My mother is a strong character (professionally). I can't say much for her emotions but I do blame her lack of emotional development on feminism. The act of "I can take care of myself and buy my own bling" taken to the extreme. Hence my disfavor for certain aspects of feminism.

So whilst I understand how women fought for rights to vote... or fought for the introduction of monogamy... or taken one hundred years back, the right for education and proper healthcare etc etc.... I also can see the pitfalls.

Everything in moderation is the key.

3:56 pm  

Sensual Sophia
I concur. Your "if we try to imagine every human being as an individual with own strength & weakness and not as man or woman..." echoes what Shepard was saying earlier with her "to be treated with as a human being with rights based on our differences".

So we are all friends =)

I have post graduate qualifications, yes and I do concur that this has helped me in many ways other than just my professional life. I have never denied that education is important for IT IS! I believe education and knowledge are powerful tools to help a person decide his/her fate, immaterial of gender.

I am sorry to hear about your mother's missed opportunities in life. My mother was given education by her uneducated mother. So were all my aunties. My maternal grandmother, despite being unable to read a word, was a business woman.

Where there is a will, there is a way. I would die for something that I am passionate about and if I wanted to study, no one could stop me. That is my instrinsic quality, one that is most admired and greatly despised by my own mother.

I am like a wild horse. I can never be controlled and nothing can tie me down unless I want to be tied.

So yes, perhaps if I was born 100 years ago, I would have marched down the streets with Kate Sheppard, demanding for voting rights and to have my voice and that of my future daughters' heard. I am feminist that refuses the term. I am not the first to refuse and surely I shan't be the last.

After all, this is what feminism is about - to offer women freedom of choice.

4:24 pm  

Nice try.
But before you judge a blogger by the name of their blog you need to know a bit more what you’re talking about: can I suggest you add to shepherdofsuns' excellently chosen book-list for you – (The Handmaid’s Tale really is genius) – a story called ‘in the company of wolves’ by Angela Carter (it’s one story in a collection called ‘the bloody chamber and other stories’). Many of the stories are erotic, which might be up your street – and then you’ll be able to get back to me on wolves and the meaning of the title… as well as on corsets… actually!

While we’re on the subject of judging the personality of a blogger by their blog, be careful to observe when a blogger writes ‘we’ and when s/he writes ‘I’… Unlike some people we’re not all constantly talking about ourselves… usually there are more important issues to address…

You also need to check your facts: unless you want ribbed, strawberry-flavoured, or extra-long, condoms can be obtained for free from all health clinics, colleges and hospitals in the UK (I resisted the urge to write as you did in CAPITALS, since I don’t appreciate being SHOUTED at, even in writing!).

But this is besides the point anyway, because you cannot convincingly compare women’s sanitary products with condoms, since tampons etc are specifically for women’s wellbeing, whereas condoms affect women as well as men: there are more STDs that affect women and not men (such as syphilis and chlamydia), and it’s not the man who gets pregnant when a condom is not used!

I appreciate the time you took to address all of our comments, but you really come across as having a lot to learn: (for example, what you wrote to shepherdofsuns about airline companies is shameful - absolutely no company has the right to discriminate against potential recruits based upon their gender or sexuality - height restrictions are concerned with safety - gender restrictions are not!).

You could benefit a lot from shepherdofsuns' book list, since I’m sure you have the intelligence to learn from what you read, and while you’re at the library, you might want to have a look also for ‘woman on the edge of time’ by Marge Piercy, or ‘dancing at the edge of the world’ by Ursula Le Guin.
Happy Reading!
(Thank you shepherofsuns and julthefool for trying to get this blogger to open her eyes... No-one likes to think that anyone is a lost cause...)

3:10 pm  

Otto, I don't quite agree with what you had written in this entry. What makes you happy does not necessary mean the same for another woman. For me, I find it satisfying attaining my material needs myself. Looking at myself, I know I am one of the many fruits of our liberal society. I would never be emotionally contented with just playing the traditional roles of women.

9:21 pm  

looks like we gone and opened up a can of worms now haven't we.

everyone should just realise that all individuals have their own opinions on this matter. no one should be chastised for their own thoughts and opinions.

if this was such an easy topic to define what was right and wrong in the first place....this matter would have been resolved ages ago.

7:39 am  

I never said I fitted into the traditional role for women. I am every bit opinionated and indepent. If you read my entries, I write a lot about women being independent, seeking education and information for themselves. I also express in more subtle ways that I am the sort of girl who works hard and buy my own blings.

I do not depend on a man or anyone else for my material wellbeing. I am all for education, rights and protection for women. Being a victim of abuse at the hands of a man, you are rest assured that I am fiercely indepent as I saw it as a mean to support myself and to help myself out of a desperate situation.

I just have a problem with women shooving down "feminist truths" down the throats of other women.... And if you do not agree with them, they call you a super idiot, who is an uneducated village girl who has never voted in her life.

Actually I seriously have a problem with that.

A can of worms and a little bit more apparently :) Yes, I am inclined to what you've said... to each their own. Feminists should know better than to diss their own kind....

Above all, I believe that we should respect one another irrespective of whatever opinions we might hold =)

3:47 pm  

No-one is 'dissing their own kind': clearly not all women are feminists, and sometimes feminists are men.

6:44 pm  

clearly jennifletzet u of all people should understand the concept of individualism and the rights of each person to believe in whatever he/she chooses.

And i quote you "And how on earth would you know if women were happier and more liberated ‘back in the old days’? Were you there??"....and my question to you do you know they WEREN'T happy....were YOU there as well?? so touche...if u get my drift.

And i quote you again "We’re not trying to earn equal (not more!) money than men in order to gain their respect – we’re doing for our self-respect!" .. impressive, did you do a mass survey on the millions of women in the world to come up with that statement?? if you did then kudos to you. Stop using "we" when you cannot justify it with proof that you speak for the majority.

All i'm saying is that everythin said in here is so subjective, thus everyone should stop forcing personal opinions down other ppl's throats and claiming it to be the voice of the majority when clearly there is no proof whatsoever that it is.

4:52 am  

I think you should apply everything you just said to the original blog made by 'about nude not naked' in the first place, since she made a list of 'universal' truths that, according to her, apply to everyone in the world. Did she make a survey, I wonder? I seriously doubt it.

And as for 'shoving personal opinions down people's throats', I'm not really sure I understand how you think this is being done, since I am only offering opinions in the same way as everyone else - as comments in a response to a blog that came closer to shoving opinions down people's throats than any of the comments that proceeded.

And by the way, you can't prove a negative by attempting to reverse a statement about something that happened in the past: all you can do is read a history book - the evidence will speak for itself.

And yes, you know what, sometimes it is possible to speak from a 'we', especially when you are writing to highlight the aims of feminist organisations all over the world, networking with each other and engaging in debates like this one.

I support individuality and personal ideology when it doesn't harm other people. But flippant and poorly considered statements are the origin of harm, and when I see them being made, I have to speak out.

9:00 am  

Perhaps Jennifletzet was not forcing down our throats.... she was voicing her opinions and correcting everyone else's. And that I can tolerate =) after all, I am a woman. I am born resilient.

I am sorry that you feel my personal thoughts are flippant and poorly considered. I speak from my own experience, through my own hands and my own eyes but apparently they are not good enough for you.

You have voiced out and made your point. Clearly my readers and I are giving thought to what you have said. Perhaps it is time for you to move on.

Thank you for your time.

1:32 pm  

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