Thursday, September 21, 2006
Hot Man Ketchup
| *** Small Talk Three more days before ANNN turns one year old! We are launching an advice column Ask Miss Love, whereby Miss Love, our resident glamour puss celebrity nerd has the answers to all your questions! What are you waiting for? Go and post your questions today!!! *** The last time I counted, I think Alex and I are in our fourth year together. Yes, I think that is quite right. We met in Perhentian in March 2002 and he remained with me until May 20th when I flew to Stockholm. I remember tears were falling when I had to say goodbye. I spent two months with a hairy boy and I could not bear the thought of not being with him. It was odd. It still is. I remember phoning Kat from Bangkok Airport while on transit. I cried and told her that I missed Alex. I should have realised then that no friend would cry for another friend the way I did. Only lovers do. *** On our four-hour drive to York last Friday, Alex and I were at our usual rubbish self. The weather has been absolutely cooperative, seeing that leaves are starting to fall, heralding a new season and a whole new wardrobe of autumn knits, opaque tights and boots. I remember talking about ANNN (that’s About Nude Not Naked, the title of this blog, if you are new to “us”) and getting into the details of some of my readers-turn-friends. We talked about Kenny and the prospect of me changing genre (to that of a funny lady) in order to secure a higher readership following. At this juncture, Alex proclaimed that he would be the top blogger if he ever bothered blogging in the first place. “I Hot Man Ketchup,” he said. I was thinking, what the fuck is this hairy boy talking about when he launched himself into his writer genius mode. “You want some hot man ketchup for your fur burger?” he said, blinking once as he turned to look at me. Hands still on the steering wheel, of course. I could not believe a word he said. “Do you know why it’s called a fur burger?” he asked, breaking the few seconds of silence. “Erm, ‘cos if you lie on your side, it looks like one?” I interjected between him saying “fur” and “burger”. In his baby voice (all happy couples baby talk each other ok – it’s not just Alex and I) Alex remarked how smart his little “coo” is. Coo, that’s me. “I know how to make a burger out of your potatoes,” I said. “I attended the penis puppetry, remember?!” I squealed in great delight. He did not warm up to my idea of turning his potatoes into a burger. Or a hotdog. Or the other 30 assorted things you can make using your penis and testicles. Funny man Alex is, I tell you. If you were a man and you had dangling bits out of you, won’t you want to make a burger or a hotdog out of your available bits? Somewhere between Junction 8 (Stansted Airport) and Junction 12 (Cambridge) we dove into the topic of blogging. AGAIN. I was explaining to Alex the perks of celebrity blogging.
“You know, there is this misplaced British writing a relatively successful blog too,” I said. “Well,” Alex said, “will I get get to stuff lots of cute little oriental babes?” His hands remained firmly on the steering wheel still. “Erm, I doubt he gets that much action.” My face was contorted to a puzzled look thinking of the misplaced Brit blogger living in KL..... *** I love Alex because I really enjoy the open relationship we have. We are able to share almost everything with each other. We feel secured enough to know that despite our differences, Alex and I can still talk and have loads of fun. Some relationships are so delicate that you have to pretend to be someone other than yourself, just to survive the relationships. Relationship therapists have a word for it and it is called “compromise”. Simple compromises are inevitable but I was thinking more of the extreme types of changes you have to make in order to accomodate a new relationship. I feel that it is pertinent that we are able to talk about things, without hiding much from each other. Some friends found this surprising. Most boys are astonished at how I do not seem to be affected by some of the things that Alex says, namely how he thinks other girls are cute. In my opinion, men are bound to find some other woman attractive. The man would either tell you about it and you can share it together, or he could start hiding the fact from you because you are easily jealous. I don’t know about you but I think it is normal to be attracted to other people because I simply cannot declare myself the most gorgeous girl on earth, despite my huge ego. Plus I find other guys attractive, so it is all evened out. And honestly, I rather Alex to tell me the truth always. But this is not only about being honest. It is also the comfort in letting loose and being comfortable in my skin. I can tell him the first thing that comes to my mind, no matter how silly the idea is. I can be prejudice, psychobabble mad person that I can be, every now and then. And it is okay to be human. It is okay for him and it is okay for me. So I indulge in his boy’s toys such as the £200 hammock he purchased and brought home during lunchtime today and his boy fantasies (he likes to think that he can stuff every hot hoochie mama out there). He bears with my insane work schedule and pays me lots of attention on my crazier days. Hey, he listens to me while I analyse relationships with different men, both in my past, current and no doubt, in near future. We play tag at home. We chase each other up and down the stairs for fun! Our current favourite game is clinging. Each morning I would cling onto him and make small kittenish noises before he goes off to work. Sometimes he throws me on the bed and then jumps on me with his most awkward face expressions. It never fails to make me squeal with delight. Being with Alex feels right and light. He knows how to put a smile on my face. He is the best part of me and if I have only one life, this is how I want to live mine. Happily laughing when we cling for fun each morning and pseudo wrestling matches in the evenings. Most evenings we sit on our sofa, watching a movie while his hands are trying to tie the newest knot from his “Learn how to knot” book. We admire the living room again (because it took him six months to paint). He pets my feet whenever I lay them on his lap. What more reasons do you need to love Alex? Oh yes, I can think of one more. I love Alex because he has so much hot man ketchup to share *hehehe* *** Related Links Labels: Alex, relationship, Writing |
for what it's worth, i think yours and Kenny's 'celebrity' blogs are the only ones actually worth reading :) you are one fine writer and i hope your blog gets more publicized that those dumb bimbo blogs out there. Cheers...
Soonie
If the measure of a 'celebrity' lies in the freebies and product reviews one gets, then I am not quite there at Celebrity Blogger Land.... I still have to purchase my pixart book! Hahahaha....
Personally I think that blogging is like music - there are many genres. Never underestimate the power of the bimbo, babe. They are the ones laughing all the way to the bank at the moment ala Paris Hilton.
But hey, you made my day, babe! Cheers!!!
Agreed with soonie. And yeah! Blogging is like music with different genres. Let's just say, you're like jazz. Intelligent and sexy. HAHA. And Jazz is my favourite genre. No, really. =)
And I admire your relationship with Alex. It's when you know you can be in your own skin, when you know your relationship will work out. :)
hello there. came across your blog from kennysia's. just wanted you to know that i really enjoy reading on the things you write about. keep it up! =)
*bookmarks ANNN*
Truth be told, I got lost when Alex and you talked about hot-man-ketchup, fur burgers and hotdogs. I mean, I know there's some sexual innuendoes involved but I found it really hard to visualise. Well, err.. nevermind.. Hahaha!
Mae
I am crossing my fingers on the relationship =)
Anon
Hey there! Thanks for the compliment and enjoy the ride.
Ian
Erm Ian..... some things we cannot discuss here lah. What do you mean you can't visualize a fur burger? You see it all the time in porno flicks!
Fur burger? Hahahha! Would you like some mayo with it? ;)
very sweet :)