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Monday, July 31, 2006
Day Twelve
Today is Day Twelve. Alex, who was working in Cumbria for three days, came home more loving and tender. He forgot his mobile and perhaps that was good for the two of us. We had time to think things through and analyse what happened. I returned home from London on Friday evening to his warm embrace.

We kissed and made up. I get my usual morning hugs and I give him his dose of morning kisses. Alex prepares the bath each morning and washes my hair. I dry his back for him each time we bath because he has a habit of not drying his back with the towel.

I told him this morning that I love him. I said that I love him more than anything in the world. That includes the cute guy we saw in Tesco, the one with the low cut denim and absolutely perfect body. We will grow up together and when we are ready, we will have a family. As crazy as it sounds, I think that is what we will do. Till then, we will just have our curry nights with friends on Mondays and fall asleep watching Green Wing.

This is a cautionary tale of how love is simply insufficient when it comes to love. No matter how prepared we are for love, no one has taught us how to deal with jealousy when it rears its ugly head. This is a reminder to all of us that we cannot love someone if we do not love ourselves. Sometimes even the best of intentions are misunderstood and that noble idea called love gets lost in translation.

I am much happier these days compared to all the previous days leading to the climax epic last Sunday. I opened a bank account on my own (ok, Kat accompanied me) and I am starting my Pilates and dance classes soon enough. I am walking around London in the craziest high heels and baby it feels good. My confidence has soared because I am doing something about my lack of work and money over here. I will be viewing the business soon and I have an interview when I feel that I am ready for it.

With four more articles under my belt and a nice stash of extra cash, I am quite the happy bunny. I have also received news that I will take over Good Editor's role in the next edition. It is still in discussion but if all things go according to plan, I will liaise with the chief editor. Hurrah, hurrah!

Alex has been a darling through the years and he has never complained about my close friendships with some other men such as R, BestGuyFriend and AB. I have never asked him for “permission” to go anywhere. He is the most un-possessive man I have had the pleasure of knowing. I never had to “report” to him, like many of my friends. I know I am lucky and this is the first time that Alex showed any signs of jealousy. For goodness sake, I maintain a blog talking about my relationship with different men and he is still fine with it. He is the correct Yang to my Yin, balancing me and my crazy ways.

Last weekend was quite a revelation for the both of us, I think. It showed a side to him that I have never seen and I guess he saw a side of me. I know he will never leave me and now he knows that I will never leave him. He is watching Top Gear (a British weekly documentary on cars) and I guess I should be joining him if I want to climb up the car magazine ladder.

Soon enough time will lick the wounds and we will forget everything. Or will we?

”If we ever break up,
you will soon find yourself someone who would love you.
I, on the other hand, would have none.”
~ Alex

“You know, if we ever break up,
I will be very lonely and I will not be able to find someone
who compliments me as well as you do.”
~ Otto

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It certainly is nice to hear that you've made up with Alex.

Wish you lots of happiness in the time to come.

5:07 am  

Oh fuck, THERE'S a continuation to all these. Just ignore my previous comment then.

11:17 am  

God, Alex's word almost made me cry.

Beautiful, this post.

Again, thanks for sharing.


4:32 pm  

Glad that everything is alright now =)

6:48 pm  

Thank you. I was thinking of you when I wrote this post because I felt this is something that you would understand.

Did Swify just use the F word? *hehehe*

Anon 4:32 PM aka iblogme
You are most welcome. I am sure that Alex will "kembang" like mad when I tell him that my reader enjoyed his words. With an ego like his, he might start blogging and surpass my readership in a week!

I am glad too =)

Just came back from your blog. Totally understand your anxiety at the moment. Let's just say that I cried for a week when I first left home.... but then again, I was more of a loner when I first left home whereas you are more open and sociable.

Friends are marvellous when helping us transit into a new phase in life. Good luck.

8:06 pm  

Haha... But remember one the phone you kinda interpreted Alex's sweet words into something not so nice? I guess it's just up to us to decide how it is meant to be translated to ourselves when the messages are too vague to reveal its true intentions...

Have fun with the corporate ladder climbing...

4:15 am  

Hey, glad to hear the good news. Happy for you... hugz.

8:02 am  

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