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Sunday, September 18, 2005
About Nude, Not Naked

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
~ Oscar Wilde

Some things I should write about before proceeding with my stories:

“Nude, Not Naked” is meant for a discerning audience.
I respect the many values found in the world, be it religious or cultural. I try my best to avoid offending anyone. If I have offended you in a way or another, let me first apologize for it is not my intention.

In return, I appreciate some respect and I hope it is not too much to ask. Everyone has a story to tell and this is mine.

”Nude, Not Naked” is my first attempt at writing.
In this respect, I am vain. I have an innate need to immortalise my words in a book. However as you, my readers know, this is my first, so I am sure to make mistakes along the way. Bear with me as I learn the art of story telling.

The phrase “Nude, Not Naked” and the contents on this site will eventually be turned into a book. Feel free to read, quote etc from this site. Just bear in mind that this is my property and I don’t want legal complications when it is published.

”Nude, Not Naked” is meant for readers above the legal age in their respective countries.
The one thing that I learnt from the Swedes is sex (the human form, nude or naked, human sexual nature etc) is natural and is part and parcel of being a human. In my personal life, I endeavour to tell the truth regarding sex and to offer honest answers to anyone seeking to know about sex.

Children learn best imitating from their environment. I believe it is the duty of a parent to guide his/her child in sexual and relationship matters. As “Nude, Not Naked” deals a lot with relationships (to be exact, a post mortem of my relationships with the many men who shaped my life), it contains ideas that a parent might not approve of due to religious or cultural beliefs.

In the event that this happens, I suggest that you, as a parent, use the stories from “Nude, Not Naked” as a springboard to discuss what you deem is right and wrong; and share your personal values with your child.

In my humble opinion, it is far better that a child learns about sex from his/her parents than through teenage experiments or worst, through hogwash teenage (or pre-teens) banter. Or any sites such as mine.

And finally - ”Nude, Not Naked” refers to the state where a lot of these stories are derived. It is an objective observation of love, life, relationships and sex. The stories are not always perfect or happy, as you will soon discover. What I can promise is that it is raw and honest.

”Nude, Not Naked” does not publish any nude or naked photographs of the human form.

As my good friend, Hot said a long time ago: “Enjoy the ride”.

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Thursday, September 15, 2005
Your Dream Woman
"Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree.
Merry, merry king of the bush is he.
Laugh, Kookaburra Laugh,
Kookaburra, gay your life must be..."

My mobile died on me. After resuscitating it a few times in the last few months, it finally died. Or rather, I FINALLY gave up on it. Every phone call is cut short approximately 1 minute into the conversation. The display says, “INSERT SIM CARD”. Then there is the keypad issue – my fingernails are dug deep into the keypad after months of keypad sensitivity. So last night, I finally gave up. It’s time to purchase a new mobile, although I much preferred to spend my whatever little savings on Levi’s super low slim cut. Damn mobile!

I got the MAN to accompany me. My father, that is. He is 62 years this year and my closest companion. I mind very much what my mother tells me but I would not mind it if it came from my father’s lips. I guess Freud was right when he said as children all of us vie for the attention of the parent of the opposite sex. My father was the one who told me about the birds and the bees. His voice rings in my head, reminding me to be cautious with men. I think God gave us, girls, fathers to be the one source of truth (the truth about men) and protection from men with ill intentions.

My father bought a mobile a few months ago while I was in London. So it was only natural to ask him to accompany me for my new purchase. I’ve never noticed how important Mandarin is until very recently. Spending so many years in a totally English environment (family spoke English as first language, friends all converse in English) I am suddenly immersed in heck-a-lot of Mandarin.

Dear readers: I officially gave up trying to pick Mandarin as a language on the day a friend told me that I sounded as if I was cussing because the intonation was bad. Using the word “bad” to describe my intonation is a compliment. Trust me.

But back to my experience purchasing this new mobile last evening.

My lips were zipped tight since the conversation between my father and the salesperson was pleasant. I did not want to spoil it by unintentionally cussing. Until…

Father: You remember me? I came the other day to purchase a mobile from you.
Salesperson: I think I do. What did you purchase?
Father: I got that (pointing to a sample in the glass case). My two sons bought their mobiles from you too, a few months ago. Remember?
Salesperson: Yeah… I remember now. Your sons… they were boys, weren’t they?
Otto: They are sons, of course they are boys. Can sons be girls?

Salesperson gave a smile. My father laughed. I got a small discount for being a Mandarin cussing smart aleck, rewarded for attempting Mandarin again. I must say that this salesperson should receive an award for being a courteous and smart salesperson. He managed to tempt me into parting with an extra RM80.00 for a better (meaning more expensive) Nokia model.

I have a good relationship with my father. I remember spending many evenings with him as an only child. My parents are now retired teachers but in the retro years father taught in the morning session and mother, in the afternoon. Consequently my father cared for me in the afternoons while my mother was at work.

My father gave me a cassette tape a few years ago. I listened to it and found the most amazing conversation.

Man: Come on… let’s sing “Mary Had a Little Lamb”.
Child: Don’t want!
Man: Come on, sweetheart. Mary… had… a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb.

The man proceeded to sing the popular nursery song and clapped his hands to the tempo. He was gently encouraging the young child to sing-along.

Child: Nooooooooooo…
Man: Come on, baby. You sing into the cassette, ok? With daddy?
Child: I don’t like the sooooooong… (whiny little brat).
Man: Alright we’ll sing “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree”, your favourite, Otto. Shall we?
Child: Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree …

My childhood is one filled with memories of a dashing and smiling young man – my father and the many nursery songs he sung to me.

Dear male readers: Some say, ”Take a good look at your girlfriend’s mother and you can see how your girlfriend will be in 10 to 20 years time.”

I say it is utter rubbish! Take a look at your girlfriend’s father. If your girlfriend had a positive experience with her father in her childhood years, you will have heck-a-lot to measure up. Your girlfriend is the product of her father’s grooming.

I strongly believe that a man creates his dream woman in the form of his daughter(s). All his criterions for a good, attractive woman are subconsciously passed onto his daughter(s) through his nurturing. How you walk, how you talk, what you wear, how much is too much, what makes a man good etc: everything passed on from father to daughter.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Monday, September 05, 2005
Help The Nude Today!

This blog was birthed in September 2005 as a writing practice. I had taken a writing course in the UK over summer and was exploring the possibility of writing professionally. This blog has given me a rare opportunity to express myself and present my ideas articulately. Since then I spent hours writing most of the things you read here.

A kind stranger offered me a golden opportunity in February 2006 and I started to write freelance for a car magazine with a circulation of 53,000. He has since become a friend and is now known in this blog as the Good Editor. I thrive on a challenging environment, in my private life as well as my professional.

Now I wish to write more frequently, with the aim of securing a column in a magazine or newspaper in near future. Thus far I freelance for a car magazine and have references to show my writing credentials. I am comfortable writing about fashion, women issues, children literacy as much as writing about cars, sex and boy gadget product reviews.

If you would peruse through this blog, you will notice that my writing style has flourished in recent months. I hope to further develop my skills and as such, I would much appreciate if you would pass my name and contact to your friends. If I have done a great job entertaining you, please sell The Nude and this blog to those who are working in publishing houses or are magazine/newspaper editors.

(This is not a moment to be shy anymore, Otto.) Oh what the hell, you can just unshamelessly sell me to your friends! You can contact me by email and we will see where it will take us.

Thank you in advance.

Otto, The Nude


Sunday, September 04, 2005
Nude, Not Naked - the book project

Everything found on and are the private properties of Otto. The work will soon be converted into a book, which I hope rivals "Beijng Doll" and "Shanghai Baby".

For further information, please leave a comment. Thank you.

Return to Nude, Not Naked.


Saturday, September 03, 2005
Otto's MiniBoyFriends

I am sure that you will come across these men as you read About Nude Not Naked blog entries. With so many men and so little time, I have taken the liberty to list them bit by bit. Hopefully as I compile this section, you will find reading my stories easier.


  • You can hear me call him almost each morning, "What's for breakfast, papa?"

  • Father's a retired 62 year old English teacher.

  • I admire his love for fishing, despite being unable to fish anything bigger than a fish the size of my palm.
    Respecta to the man.

  • Father: When are you going to give me grandchildren?

    Otto: Here are your two grandchildren. Remember to pet them and love them.

    Father: Cats are not children. You can't compare cats to children.... *grumble grumble grumble*

    Since then he has warmed up to my two Persian cats and plays with them every evening, like all good grandfathers would.


  • The love of my life, Alex makes life so much more colorful. We have gone through a lot and visited many countries and cities together.

  • Whenever I am unable to sleep, Alex gives me a horsey ride. He will gallop up and down stairs, making me squeal with delight and exhausting me enough. Sleep comes easy then after.

  • He brings out the best in me and makes me feel good about myself. He cares deeply for my wellbeing and for that, I love him deeply.

  • It is never easy to love but loving Alex seems easy because he is so worthy of my loyalty and love.


  • Sports Adidas footwear 24/7.

  • We spent hours searching for the brightest neon signs in the city at 5 a.m.

  • He started dating his girlfriend a few weeks before he and I met.

  • They are still together.

  • AB is more addictive than anything known to me. It's been five years and I still think of all the endless nights of flashing lights and kissing under the shadows of clubs.

  • Most of my earlier writings are inspired by all the conversations and experiences I shared with AB. Nude, Not Naked was a vain attempt to immortalise my affections for this stranger in daylight.

  • Since our last last meeting on 31st Oct 2006, we have both moved on. And I hardly write about him anymore.

  • These days I imagine him discovering that I have a new car. It has the same carplate number as the car we used to ride together for years.

BGF (Best Guy Friend)

  • Our earliest conversations revolved around my ass, quite literally. As in 'Oh just look at that ass...'.

  • I think I was his 'busuk pillow' (trans: security blanket) of somesort. He sniffed my neck, especially in the mornings.

  • Every girl needs a male friend like BGF. He tells you the truth about men, no matter how painful the truth is. Pain now is much better than pain later.

  • Some people think that he and I are an item. I am mentioning this because we are not.

  • Nikki and BGF are in hiding since they were married in Dec 2006. I think they are trying to make babies.

  • I do not see him daily these days. But I am very happy whenever I bump into him and Nikki. He is far happier than when we first met years ago.


  • A greater painted and a melancholic soul, R is a free spirit who enjoys vodka, a smoke and a paint brush - all at once.

  • A trusted companion, we are each other's therapist. Saves loads of money this way, all while having grand breakfasts.

  • I think he does not give enough credit to himself, so I over compensate by praising him all the time. I think he likes me because of this.

  • We spent hours locked in his bedroom on Sundays, painting, reading, sleeping and watching movies. And when I am not wearing high heels, we would walk his two dogs, Vodka and Gin.

  • Whenever I feel blue, he literally picks me up. On his motorbike, that is. We go for a ride around the housing estate, so I can feel the wind blow against my face.


  • Owner and manager of Lola, a swanky dance club.

  • Has a string of girls ever eager to be his special friend. So far, none survived past the 30 day anniversary.

  • D is a good weekend clubbing buddy and 5 a.m. supper partner.

  • He calls at the strangest hours. Like 3 in the morning on a Tuesday.

  • He is but a phone call away if I ever want the latest news and juices around town. Which includes where the night time road blocks are and which clubs to avoid in case of raids.

  • The first time I saw and recognized him, I was drunk and stumbling out of his club on opening night. That should tell you a thing or two about our friendship.

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Friday, September 02, 2005
All About The Girls

Girlfriends are God's gift to us. They are there to laugh with us and sometimes wickedly at us. Girlfriends make stupid fat jokes when you ask, "Am I fat?" and make great coffee buddies.


  • If we were to use the characters from Sex and the City as a guide, E would be very much Charlotte. Innocent and sweetly batting her eyes into everyone's company.

  • Passion of the moment: Saving money to purchase the most ridiculously priced bags and shoes available in StarHill and KLCC.

  • Friendship moment was when she sent me to KLIA when I was to board an airplane to Stockholm. She sang me "Me and My Shadow". Both of us cried all the way to the airport. Damn!

  • Feeling chuffed after surviving a night of seven shots of Tequila, E said, "Guess what? I drank seven shots of Tequila and I was fine! I even managed to walk home!". Guy friend standing behind her stuck out his tongue, motioned his right hand across his throat and staggered a few silent steps left and right. E was soooooooooo gone that she could not even remember a thing. MUAHAHAHAHAHA....


  • Queen of consuming superior quality goods, if not luxury.

  • Bough the most expensive ironing board I have ever heard existed - RM280.00. Tell me if you have an even more expensive ironing board and I will treat you to a shot of vodka.

  • I once remarked that owning a pet is similar to her experience of raising her daughter.

    Daughter sick, she send to the hospital.
    Milo sick, I send to the vet.

    Daughter needs attention, she cuddles and loves.
    Milo needs attention, I cuddle and love.

    Daughter needs milk and water.
    Milo needs his favourite dry biscuit and water.

    PY was offended.... till one day, she asked, "Eh I wonder if your Milo wants to have my daughter's toys... she has outgrown them." Three seconds after uttering those words, she laughed and agreed that it could be possible that raising her daughter was quite similar to me raising my hairy puss, Milo.

  • PY's Sex and the City character, naturally would be Miranda.


  • Nikki is a survivor from the Dec 26th Tsunami. She was on Koh Phi Phi when the waters swept her away.

  • BGF was supposed to join her on the fateful day but we sat watching BBC without any news from Nikki.

  • "So should I still go? BGF asked me.

    "Do you love her?" I asked.

    "Of course I do,"

    "Then go find her and bring her home," I said with a smile.

    We packed some things for him to bring to Nikki and after two weeks nursing her, she returned to the UK and BGF to Malaysia. They were together in the UK last year. A fascinating feeling meeting BGF in Leicester Square for roast duck rice.

  • Now Nikki stays with BGF in Malaysia and in turn, we (Nikki and I) became good friends.

  • We meet for coffee and shop every so often, when our schedules permit.

  • Nikki is warm and extremely intelligent. Her Scottish roots shine through with her witty comments and sharp tongue.

  • Most likely to see us trawling the shopping malls and having coffee in Starbucks.


The Author

Her name might not be hers in real life but her stories are. The author hopes that you will know a little about her life as she spins her tales for you. So she will not write anything under this link but rather you read of her life, her triumphs and sadness through her stories.

And perhaps after you read her life, you will find a space in your heart to love her for being human.

Related Links

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