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Saturday, December 03, 2005
I Love Daphne Teo! - A Satire

I Love Daphne Teo.


Alas I have been rejected by Daphne Teo. She has password protected her blog and only friends and family are able to access her blog from now on. She has rejected hundreds and I am one of them.

To mourn the lost of this most beautiful and greatest blog on earth, I shall dedicate this entry ala Daphne Teo’s style.


***

*wave*

I am Otto.



I felt bored yesterday, so I went out shopping with my bestfriend. See the blouse and earrings she is wearing? Those are mine, mine, MINE!

We went to LV today and saw the most beautiful shoes. What do you think? I like the pink one and the blue one but I can’t decide. Which do you think is more cute?

The pink?




Or the blue?





I can’t decide, so I bought both!

Here are some other shoes that I want to buy.

Red and blue looks so cool!!!




Match the Dior Vintage Bag I left in the closet for ages!
Now they look good together!!




Monday class wearing this and my Chanel bag. Tee hee hee!!!




Viva la Dolce and Gabbana! Couldn't decide on this so I bought in all colors. Mummy sent me extra money this month anyway.




This goes so well with my Chanel bag and Marc Jacobs jacket. What do you think?




We met up with E, F and G for dinner and drinks at the most posh restaurant in the city. There is a 3 months waiting list but here we are.

Wee, having a party!

I drank bubblies!




And more bubblies!





What do you think? Do you think I have a beautiful life? Oh yes, I do, I do, I do. My father loves me. My mother loves me. My cat loves me. My new boyfriend loves me. You love me. I love me.

Me.

Me.

Me.

Wee!!!


***
Okay I am tired playing Daphne, so the satire ends. To be honest, I really did enjoy Daphne’s blog for what it was. Just a simple look into the life of another girl. It mattered not to me whether she bought all the stuff she has mentioned. It did not matter whether she was as rich as she portrayed herself to be. It bore no consequence in my life at all. Daphne was just pleasant read, a no brainer blog that you can just read, smile (feel happy for her, for the things she has acquired) and move to other blogs with meatier content.

When she committed blogcide, I’d think she was gone forever. You know, like how every mortal is on earth; dead, gone and soon after, forgotten. But hey, Daphne is like Lazarus of the Bible. She fucking resurrected herself and posted entries after her supposedly blogcide. The fact that she said she wanted to close her blog down, then reappear and then password appear, simply cries of "I need attention. NOW!" *stomps feet and holds breathe until face turn blue*

Daphne should really question what on earth is she trying to do by doing these acts. It shows nothing more than a very childish and indecisive Daphne.

Words are words and when you say you will go, you fucking go. Don’t look back and don’t come back because you loose the respect of many for coming back. What more on the same blog with the same concept and name?

If I were Daphne’s father, I’d ask her not to put my face on her blog. If Daphne was my sister, I would like to be sat at another table when out for dinner. If I were Daphne’s boyfriend, I would bury myself and hope to die a fast death.

For goodness sake, someone in Singapore please do the blogsphere a great favour. Bitch slap that girl when you see her, jolt her awake from her slumber. Such a freaking drama queen.


***
Please note that I enjoyed Daphne’s blog until she threatened to close it down, then opened it again and now password protect it for friends and family, for privacy issues.

I mean, if you really want to be private, don’t fucking post your photos online with your details. Keep it really REALLY private.

I can deal with her shopping sprees, Gucci this and Marc Jacobs that stories. I can even handle her ego trips. But her last few entries really paint Daphne as a pathetic and attention seeking spoilt brat.

And it is this behaviour that I detest.

And no, I was not one of those she has rejected. Didn’t read her blog for many days since its blogcide, only to return because of referals from other blogs. My, my... our young lady has apologized for turning down the requests of HUNDREDS of her friends and supporters... 'cos it's for her family and friends only.

Phhhhfff! *flips hair*


***
I think I will rename this entry as "Daphne Loves Herself". What do you think?

Labels:

7 Comments:

Why are you mad she came back, but password-protected her entries?

Did she issue a statement elaborating on the exact nature and minutae that "closing down" does tno mean just closing down the blog to the public, and now that she wishes to post entries for friends only (since she spent a few weeks perfecting her current layout and having the banner that Erik did for her, it would be waste)?

Why do you care? Just want to find a reason to criticize her because everyone else is doing the same?

I think someone is a wittle bit jjjjjjeeeeeelessss she can't read the entries. *looks away and whistles*

3:33 pm  

Tyvek: Darling, I could care less if she password protect whatever. I am not bothered and I am not jealous. But if you insist that I am, then so be it.

Like I've said, I love Daphne for what she writes. I would not have written this entry if she meant her words.

Let's put it this way - do what you mean and mean what you say.

*looks away and whistles*

8:28 pm  

Oops! The Haolian Ah Lian is Back!
This time she is trying to justify herself - such a lame one too!
Oh, her English does suck big time.
She could not write properly to save her life =p

She: Daphne Teo Speaks up.
I: shut up already!

She:Why do you guys take this blog so seriously?
I: ??? it is pure entertainment...

She:Didn’t I say in soo many of my entries that this blog is to be taken lightly?
I: yada, yada we are taking your entries and your shit very lightly in a very amusing way =p

She: This blog is only a personification and an embodiment of someone with a perfect life.
I: I dun see no disclaimer stating this from the start??

She: I clearly said that I consider myself averagely rich.
I: "averagely rich". walah, she was from RJC??!!

She: And I NEVER lied about anything in my blog.
I: how come I am not convinced?? duh..


She: There were also some stuff that I bought but they were so ugly when it arrived that I returned it immediately.
I: I bet they are not half as ugly as you though...nothing can be as (fucking ugly) as you, darling...

She: My dad REALLY is a CEO/MD/ founder of a company that has something to do with Nippon Paint. What the connection is I have no fucking idea and I have no intention of finding out. And when I do, I have no intention of tell you either.
I: there the bitch goes again...sigh...predictable


Dhe: My dad built up his company only with a primary school education. I so admire him for that. I hope that one day I would be half od what he is today.
I: I hope your dad feels the same way about you...

She: Those pictures were REALLY of my house. Its not small. But it isn’t a casa either. But to me its huge and I don’t really like it because sometimes I barely get to see my family at all. We can go through the day without seeing each other even though all of us are at home.
I: aiyoh, give me a break. Oh no, let me continue in Daphne Teo's style "the house has a huge backyard, I am thinking of planting a mango tree, a rambutan tree, a coconut tree and definitely a papaya tree in it. How many Singaporeans live in a house huge enough to accommodate all these gigantic trees??
*flip hair*
I am so fucking rich - please don't be jealous of me cos I can't help it, ok?

She:PLEASE, do you really think I think I am the prettiest girl around? Haha.
I: Yup! Haha.

She: I am NOT blind you know. I like how I look. But I don’t think I am the hottest thing around.
I: no, i never thought you were blind, just a few screws missing in your head and a heart that is not too straight... nothing wrong with your eyes except some plastic surgery, I suppose...

She:I would like to think that people like me because of my funny, spontaneous, easy going, confident character and not because of my looks.
I: puke - puke -puke


She:I like that I am not the richest, the poorest, the most beautiful or the smartest because I love the way my life is right now.
I: she is in denial, nobody who loves her life would come up with so much bullshit!

She:What is it to you that I am not as rich as you think I am. Does it affect your life?
I: no, darling, not at all.

She: I never did lie but I did bend the truth so as to make it more entertaining for people to read because I didn’t think people would actually take it so seriously.
I: denial mode again. could someone give her two tight slaps?

She: And about the last entry about how “good” I am in life. Oh please. Do you really think I believe all that crap?
I: I seriously think you do!

She: I was pissed off and bitchy. Every girl has a bitchy side to her.
I: just speak for yourself. you are nobody's spokebitch but for youself

She:Those who know me well were laughing at that entry so why can’t you?
I: HAHAHAHAHA... hey don't you know we are already doing that???

She:Maybe when you get to know me, you will like me. Maybe not. But at least try to get to know me first before hating me.
I: We enjoy hating you. just leave it at that . bubbai =)

2:55 pm  

"do what you mean and mean what you say."

I was kidding, but since you took it so seriously, I am compelled to counter - Bullshit. Let me give you another saying, "Let the person without sin cast the first stone."

If you have never ever failed to follow your own words above even once, then I stand corrected. However, I am willing to bet you have violated your own holier-than-thou posing more than once.

You have ALWAYS meant whatever you said?

Bullshit. Fucking hypocrite.

4:26 pm  

Blogcide is not about saying something you did not really mean...
This was about making a drama about going and then comming back. The difference is that this was a thought out decision not some fleeting misspoken words. You don't drop out of law school and beg to be let back in the week after. Its just attention beggin. Nuf said

8:36 pm  

Tyvek: Let's just agree that if there was a day when I say that I want to commit blogcide and that I want to leave the blogsphere, you can be assured that I will leave and not come back.

While it is true that I have also gone back on my words, there are some things that I will never. There are just some things that you have to follow through because it spells credibility and the lack of it, reeks of desperation.

But that's my opinion... you can stick to yours and I to mine and we can settle with a handshake.

Good day.

***
Anonymous: I couldn't have said it better.

12:53 am  

You want to find Daphne Teo go to Number 41 Goodman Road. Teo Cheng Kwee Big Boss of Some Construction Company is her father.Home Tel: 63443010. She go 2 elder brothers. She is a spoilt brat very spoilt. Family is teochew so very how lian type.All the cars they drive is with number 700. All very proud.

5:59 am  

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