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Sunday, December 17, 2006
The Thing Called Love
I remember the moment it happened. We sat by the roadside, maybe it was ten in the morning. Maybe it was eleven. It does not matter now what time it happened but for the fact that it happened.

“Do you think I should go and get her?”

Instead of answering his question, I asked yet another. “Do you love her?”

My best friend was washed away by a new wave in life on the day the tsunami washed Koh Phi Phi away. I queried him if it was truly what he wanted in life. I asked if he loved her. What he experienced that day was fresh and new. He was in love.

It was decided by lunch time that my BestGuyFriend should head to the islands in search of his love, which was lost. They met twice during very short meetings but he was certain that he loved her. Five days before the tsunami happened, she left him with a ticket and an invitation to Koh Phi Phi.

They planned to meet up at lunchtime on the day when the tsunami hit Asia and killed thousands and thousands of people. Whilst others were separated from their loved ones, it seemed utterly strange that love can blossom from such devastation. And yet it happened.

”What should we do?” he asked.

We rushed to the shopping mall and bought her some things that she might need that moment. I remember writing a card to her and wishing her good luck. I remember rushing around the shopping mall, trying to buy her some panties but I found those huge panties that covered the bottom totally disgusting. I could not possibly allow her to commit a fashion faux pas. Not even during such a terrible time. So true to my nature, I decide that she was better panty-less than walking around with what I deemed as grandma panties.

So off my BestGuyFriend went to Phuket with a small bag of clothes, daily necessities and a hope that he could find Nikki alive among the thousands of dead.

“Do you love her?” I asked him on the day that they were to solemnize their marriage. I searched for a quiet moment and I asked my BestGuyFriend the question again “Do you really love her?”

His answer was a firm yes each time.

Many might be inclined to believe that a person loves naturally, hence the term “falling in love”. Many might believe that they cannot control the moment when love happens. Romantics believe that love is almost random but I can tell you that there is an essence that is crucial for love to happen.

It is the element of sacrifice and work. Wait a minute - that would make two elements. But sacrifice and work are interrelated, so I shall lump them up as one. You see, in order for love to happen, the lovers must take the initiative to find the time to love. It requires work on their behalf.

Nothing happens so randomly and especially not love. Love is planned and steps are taken to create the opportunity to love and find love. The lovers might not realise this or might not want to admit to this but if you think of the moment when you found love, you would realise that you have done many things to find that opportunity to love.

The ultimate onscreen act of love happened in the movie called “The Road Home”. The village girl, enamoured by the newly appointed school teacher, decided one day to take a longer road to complete her daily task of fetching water from the well. The young teacher, noticed her walking to fetch water and hurried to carry a pail to do the same. They were both creating the opportunity to love.

The second when she poured away water from her already filled pail when she saw the teacher walk towards her with a pail, was the moment I am talking about - the moment love happened. It was a quest to capture the attention and perhaps love of someone you feel your heart skips a beat for.

You will only find love when there is an illusion of being lost in a world that is made up of just the two of you. All love has an element of escapism.

Alex and I spent hours swinging in his hammock by the sea in Perhentian. Marvin Gaye serenaded us as the waves lulled us into love dreams. I returned to work after a few days getting lost on the island with Alex (and E and two other boys). He joined me shortly and spent three extra months in a concrete city, so that he and I could meet and find love. We are lovers till today.

I met SwedishLove on the morning that he was bound for another city. He too, stayed back three months. I remember us sitting once in a Japanese restaurant, we were locked in a dreamy gaze, totally mesmerized by each other. His right index finger was gently caressing my right arm. We found love somewhere between his idle days as a backpacker and my busy work schedule.

And my BestGuyFriend went to Phuket in search of someone that he loved, nursed her better and helped her to recover from the ordeal. It has been two years since he first said he loved her and yesterday, 150 guests sat by the pool to celebrate their love.

I have to wait for the official photographer to wake up from his seven day hangover. Then wait another three weeks whilst he and everyone else tan their asses in some deserted Thailand island BEFORE I can get hold of the nicer photos. Till then, you will have to suffer through these.

Nikki and BestGuyFriend had so much fun getting married,
they are doing it all over again in Scotland.
(The seven bridesmaids are celebrating the opportunity
to have a crazy week of girlie pampering and shopping!)

Apparently us girls taking photos are setting in as an annual tradition.
Girlfriends for life, yo!

Me and my JLo ass. Plus I was slouching. Such sins.

Nikki is the best thing that has happened to BestGuyFriend and I can testify to that. There is this smile on his face that only Nikki can bring. I love them both to bits, so....

Congratulations, BestGuyFriend and Nikki.

I am flying to London on 18th December to join Alex and his family for a pigging out session over Christmas. Then to Italy for a nice holiday. So you guys hang in tight and write me some nice love notes.



why dont u dare show your face?

3:33 am  

otto, do you own more than one evening gown and are they worn only once or twice if yes? and does it deter you from buying more gowns if you've only worn the gown once? heheh. am just wondering =D

9:30 am  

As a person who thinks that she has fallen before but only to realize that the person she fell in love with is actually a mask, I would agree with a few things you mentioned.

"You will only find love when there is an illusion of being lost in a world that is made up of just the two of you. All love has an element of escapism."

in order for love to happen, the lovers must take the initiative to find the time to love. It requires work on their behalf.

As for the latter statement, I would only half agree with it because I think it would be more correct to say that in order for a relationship to happen, it requires time and work and sacrifice.

Love, to me, is just a feeling. We can choose who we want to fall in love with but I don't think we can control the moment it would happen, and with who it would happen.

And after finding the person to make love with (not physically, per se :P), the process of staying together is one hell of a work.

12:00 pm  

Otto, you are drop-dead gorgeous!

1:24 am  

It isn't a matter of whether I dare or DON'T DARE to show my face. After all, all women are born vain. I just like my privacy more than vanity.

Definitely own more than one gown. That gown design is mine and I had it tailored. Usually wear them once or else they'll lose their 'magic'.

Sometimes you might want to love and you are willing to sacrifice time and energy... but if the other person does not share similar thoughts as you, the love will not happen.

Thank you. You made me blush with your generous compliment =)

3:10 pm  

ok this is weird i was scrowlling slowly and one pic with your back i was like hot design but not much of an ass in my heart scroll down futher u say j lo bum ??? . good colour on u, just read it was your own design. nice !!

9:08 pm  

I still think your context of "love" here is a lot more like a relationship.

Feelings happen. Whether they're returned or not is a whole different story.

10:56 am  

For what it is worth, I think I have a huge ass... all ass owners are allowed to be critical of their asses.

Oh gawd, it crossed my mind that I have moved on from "love as a fleeting feeling" to "love as a commitment forever and ever"......

I need a drink.

2:08 pm  

lol. figures.

babe, if you're in Klang Valley of Bodo(h)land, we could always hit the lounges/bars

btw. am gonna link u. u alright with that?

7:38 pm  

I am more than ok with that :)

Drinks? Yay!

8:00 pm  

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