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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Lost In Translation

I am not sure if the lost Italian has a problem expressing himself in English, so he writes something as patronizing as he did in his last email. Or is it just I, with my poor English, am unable to decipher through his email? After reading his email, I suspect that he had spiked it with chauvinism hairy balls bluek.

Don’t just believe what I say. You can read what he wrote me and you decide for yourself if this man is extremely full of himself.

Hi my dear,

Thanks a lot for your picture. At least they shorten the big distances that separate our different lifes!!

So what are you working so much on lately?!?

I don' really get the names you gave to your pics .. Nude?!? but unfortunatly there is no nude at all!!!!

Who is the ugly boy you are holding?!?

I try to encourage you once more with some -hopefully- interesting pics of me ...

Tell me your hidden feelings and send some more of you too… you have nothing to loose and a lot to gain…

i'll be awaiting!!!

PS. anyway, your girl friend is good looking too!

I am yet to meet a man who whores himself as much as the lost Italian Frans. He gives XiaXue a run for her money, with all the photos of him doing Capoeira by the Mediterranean Sea. Under normal circumstances, I am delighted to find new friends and would indulge myself in the occasional camwhore holiday photos. But this lost Italian is taking the whole concept to a new height. He sends me more photos than I have sent him. But enough of the photos and his boo boo over-confident self. The reason why I am writing this is because…

I mind him being patronizing but it does not irritate me so much that I have to take out my invisible sarcasm machine gun and start gunning him down until he runs to his mommy to cry. Which is the only reason why I had not run him down with a lorry or wished for a lorry laden with pizza run him down somewhere in Milan. The one eyesore that I absolutely detest and abhor is the bit where he called my guy friend ugly. Who on earth gives him the right to call this man, MY FRIEND, ugly?

I can go on and on defending my friend but I realised that there is nothing to defend. The lost Italian Frans had lost from the very beginning. He does not possess the sincerity and friendship that my friend possesses and quite rightly, I'd imagine Frans having the smallest of boy's wee wee if he ever stripped naked, hence his over inflated ego.

Now he is asking me to write him an email expressing my hidden feelings. I am tempted to let good old Frans know what I really think of him.

So my readers, how do you think I should reply in my next email??

Come on, I know you guys are creative....



Looks like he needs to work off some pent up frustration. I suggest sending him a short porn clip - can be anyone in the video. The point here is to help him release all that kinetic energy in his pants.

4:49 pm  

Your beauty rivals my dog's magnificent behind. Your existence is a blessing as it makes me feel better about the simplicity and naivete of certain individuals. The joys of being delusional are something I can never taste.

2:55 am  

I didn't write that email I swear! :)

3:34 pm  

make him video himself naked so we can all ridicule him!! then pls pls pls allow us to send "fan"mail. muahahahaha :p

11:09 am  

hey otto, haha, finally came online. saw what anonymous had to say about me and i would have to say 'ouch'. but yeah, it's true to a certain extent [eg unexposed]. but im not too sure about being 'uninformed unexposed bitter woman who lives in a small village....'.

im sad. im an 'uninformed unexposed bitter woman who lives in a small village....'!!

guess he/she didnt see my last word, which is 'crap'. which in a way implies that i do know that what i say is [probably] not true for maybe about half the percentage..

anyhows. happy christmas in advance ^.^

4:23 pm  

Ze reply letter, with influence from Swifty's contribution. Enjoy. :


No, thank you for your pictures. They made me realize the big distance between our egos which I doubt we can overcome, unless you choose an intellectually-fulfilling lifestyle.

What am I working on lately? Well, nothing much, really. Just enlisting the help of the geniuses who reads my masterpieces on how to tell you what I really feel about your attention deficit.

I named by pictures "nude" because I expected those who view it to have an imagination. I don't really wonder why you don't get it.

Who is the "ugly boy" I was holding? Well, he's a decendant of the greatest sex god Apollo whose beauty I'm afraid many but you can appreciate. My condolence.

Following that, I would encourage you to cease sending me interesting pictures of you. I think I've learnt more than I ever will about Capoeira and the Mediterranean Sea just by scanning through them. Any more pictures of you would be plain redundancy.

There you go. My hidden feelings for you. I am afraid I have lost most of my sanity and gained lots of vaccumm in my head after your last email. I think I need to recuperate. Seems like the joy of being delusional is something I can never appreciate.

Any more replies from you and my spam box will be waiting.

Ciao bella!

PS. My girl friend Swifty says thanks and that your beauty can rival her dog's magnificent behind!

What do you think? O:)

11:46 am  

He has a girlfriend who can help ease whatever energy in his pants........ some men are just born faithless.

I like your style, you know.... *laughs*

Lost In Translation
I am sure you didn't. Your initials are not F.G. now is it?

Yeah! Porno for all ANNN readers! Woot!

I am glad that you are as uneducated as me. At least I am in fine company.

I don't think he has the concentration span. He needs more photos than words... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... good try, babe!

3:16 pm  

Sweetie I love the pink dress damn gorgeous yeah can pull it off wif hot body like tat :)

4:38 pm  

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