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Monday, November 14, 2005
On Cows And Pigs

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.

Andy Rooney says:

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it! . She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough
to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free".

Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage."

Andy Rooney did a bloody good job writing this article. It very much sums up a lot of my feelings, though I digress on the red lipstick. I am not a fan of any lipstick at all.

I am much happier now that I am in my late 20s. I feel more in control of myself, knowing what I want and not, knowing what my weaknesses and strengths are, knowing what I am willing to sacrifice and what I will not put up with. This realization is self-empowering because I feel freed of emotional baggage that came along with being an early 20s child.

While I might have been fazed in my 20s with questions such as "Do you love me?", I now know not to ask the question. Same goes with the, "Do you think I am pretty?" or "Who's prettier? XYZ or me?" or "Do I look good in this pair of jeans?" or "What do you think of me?".

When it comes to SEX I proclaim to the world that sex only gets better for the girls. I feel comfortable in my own skin, able to accept myself just the way that I am. Able to feel sexy just being me and not wanting to be anyone else. Not the model in the magazine. Not the latest super singing sensation. Not anyone else but me.

I no longer feel that sex is sinful (parental hang up). I feel that sex is an expression of love between a couple and it represents part and parcel of a relationship. I don't have to feel ashamed of liking/doing it.

Yet at the same time, I know how much I am worth. I do not feel pressured to give more than I am willing to give. If you want to call me a prude, then so be it. I take my time and I think I am worth my time.

I know what makes me feel good and I won't give two seconds thought to let my love know how to please me. "Do it like this... do it this way... yes, that's right..." No blushing from me, I can assuredly tell you.

The quality of my relationship also jumped a kazillion points as I mature. You won't find me nagging my love whenever he wants to watch football. Go straight ahead and watch football. I'll just jump into the bath and splash about. Have my own private time. Play dress up with my closest girlfriends and go out for some coffee and a chat. Catch a movie or give myself a little present every now and then.

I promised myself that I'll buy myself a diamond bracelet on my 30th birthday. A gift for myself for being older and a little bit wiser.

Here lies the little secret: Men will love you more if you know how to love yourself a little.

Anyone in their early 20s might be guilty of the following conversation:

He: *silence*

She:Why are you so quiet?

He:Nothing. I am just tired.

She:Tired? Are you sure?

He:Yeah, I am. I just want to be quiet.

She:Was it something I did wrongly?

He:No, not at all. Just tired.

She:Surely it's something. Tell me.

15 minutes later, the whole conversation sinks into paranoia. You think up a thousand reasons why he's quiet. Both of you argue and there is a feeling of resentment. Took me some years to realise that he's what he said he was: tired. These days I just bring him some juice/food/goodies, give him a hug, let him know where I am (Hunny, I think I'll take a bath) and just leave him be. It's amazing how he'll turn around, eyes wide open as he knocks on the bathroom door, "What are you doing in there?"


If it is indeed true that all things get better as we mature (at least for the girls - and I am certain that it does) bloody hell, bring on the 30s!

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