Thursday, March 27, 2008
Compassion for Bunny
Every now and then, Mr. Easter Bunny writes. Now we met under very strange circumstances and I do not recall much of the night when we met. Other than some boys climbing up a wall and I working behind the bar. Oh yes, I was a waitress in a bar, a long time ago. For fun. So I can write all the things that I write you in ANNN. During our last conversation, which was last evening, he mentioned that BestGuyFriend was waiting for me to sit on his lap. I do not even remember sitting on BestGuyFriend’s lap. We were very close but it never occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t your usual boy + girl friendships. Especially not if I sat on his lap for fun... I should tell you why I call him Mr. Easter Bunny. Like the many other single European men working in Malaysia, he has a spare bunny at his disposal. They met a long time ago while he worked in the Philippines. I didn’t ask much about their relationship, not more than he would share on his own accord. However one day, I asked him without being coy, what he gave her as allowance since it was obvious that she was not working. My question was in the name of writing material research. Quite obvious, isn't it? Mr. Easter Bunny dutifully informed me that he leaves a stack of cash amounting to RM1000.00 every Monday as pocket money for his little brown bunny. I think he said he leaves the cash on the table and never directly gave it to her. The Tooth Fairy leaves you some money on your pillow for each tooth. Mr. Easter Bunny was far more generous than the Tooth Fairy will ever be, leaving you RM1000 weekly. You don't even need to exchange it for a tooth. Hence Mr. Easter Bunny's fairytale inspired name. I am in a predicament. I hate bunnies of all ages because they symbolize how weak women can be. Or perhaps how cunning women can be. Or how smart some women are, when compared to me. I work like hell and I don’t have a Mr. Easter Bunny dropping me RM1000 weekly. Not even monthly or yearly. So I resent bunnies because they get lots of bunny treats without even working hard (or studying hard). These bunnies fly around the world, shop as they please, do not have to work a day of their lives and get money for doing exactly that. You can imagine how frustrated non-bunnies are. I am a typical stressed out non-bunny. What a snub to our faces! Especially when we worked hard to study, worked hard to enter universities and worked hard at work. We are seeing a very slow repayment for our very hard work. But bunnies just need to look fluffy and lovable (ala Anna Nicole Smith), without having any education or career, they are cared for and paid quite a lump sum of money. I expressed my opinions and I am sure that Mr. Easter Bunny got a earful from me. I was not quite the polite person that I normally am, arguing the ethics of handing out money to young girlfriends. There are a lot of things the young lady can do, other than sitting around at home and wasting her life and energy away. One thousand ringgit as weekly allowance is sin, I thought to myself. Like all other men, Mr. Easter Bunny has his set of excuses and reasons for rewarding a young lady for not doing something productive with her life.
I told Mr. Easter Bunny what I told Alex years ago. Give the girl education and skills, if you are sincere in helping her. Poking her is hardly considered charity. I mulled over our conversations through the Easter weekend. Perhaps I am a little too aggressive. After all, Bunny wasn’t my Bunny. She is Mr. Easter’s and if he is fine with the notion of giving away RM1000 weekly, I guess I am not in the position to nag. Maybe I am ashamed of what my fellow Eves have done. Maybe I am angry because I feel degraded when my sisters are. Maybe I am too proud to ask for man’s help and I feel that women are weak if they do. Maybe Mr. Easter Bunny is right – I do not know what it is like for Bunny. Maybe I am throwing stones at a glass house. Maybe I should not be so harsh. Maybe there is another ruler for another woman. Maybe Bunny is the way Bunny is because of circumstances. Maybe Bunny did not have all the opportunities accorded to me. Maybe I would be Bunny if I were in Bunny’s shoes. Maybe I should not be so quick to judge her of crimes that I imagined she had committed. Maybe Bunny is as pure and fragile as Mr. Easter Bunny said she was. The long Easter weekend gave me plenty of opportunity to recollect and reflect on my arguments against Bunny. I wrote Mr. Easter Bunny a short email yesterday and I remarked that perhaps I should have more compassion for Bunny – that I should not be so quick to judge her and beat Bunny’s self to a pulp based on my personal beliefs. That Bunny was not me and I cannot impose my personal beliefs on her. The compassion was timely. Bunny ate hospital food for dinner last evening after being admitted for being unwell in the past week. Bunny has pneumonia and a small part of my heart feels pity for the 21 year old brown Bunny. 'Let the one without sin cast the first stone'. Labels: life |
i think such bunnies are just like prostitutes. i have little respect for women who take handouts from men. i do believe the man should offer to pay for dinner, but not become an atm. with an older white bf, people think i'm a bunny. what they don't know is, i earn a lot more than he does and was not born with a silver spoon in the mouth.
Janicebks
But why would you want to go out with a man who earns less than you?
Love is conditional and practical, if it is to survive the years. One of my conditions is that he has to earn more than me. Not so much to dispense money like an ATM.
Through my years of experiencing and observing relationships, relationships where the man is the major bread winer has lesser problems than relationships where the woman is the top bread winer.
If the man does not resent his partner earning more and having more 'power' in the relationship, it would be the woman who resents him.