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Malaysian Alien


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Monday, October 10, 2005
Of Toy Boys and ROMs (Rich Old Men)

When I was a wee younger than today, I was attracting ROMs (Rich Old Men) like bee to honey. Most of them enjoyed a few quiet conversations with yours truly. Probably they found me amusing on the basis of my youthful follies. I was naïve and idealistic about life.

They asked of my life and what I am doing. Where on earth am I at the moment and what are my dreams. Every so often, they kept in touch through the phone. They called to enquire if I found what I was looking and whether I achieved all I wanted.

I must, at this juncture, add that these men and I share a phone friendship. I might have met them a few times through functions and then on, maintain a phone friendship with them. They call whenever they are free. I will reply, if I am free of any social obligations. They would cut the conversations short, if they knew I had company. They respected my space and time.

They could be Datuks or whatsonot-Tuk-s but in my phonebook, they are called by their first names. I think it takes quite a few ounce of guts to do so and women who are able to pull this off with confidence are intriguing to ROMs. This is a top tip for those girls out looking for sugar daddies.

Also - I hang up if I am busy, which could have made them even more curious about what I did with my personal life. These men enjoy listening to my whimsical journey to adulthood and womanhood.

How I am trying to juggle my career, studies, travel, hobbies, business plans and social life.

How I am trying to make sense of this world.

Am I going to be a traditional woman, following my man wherever he goes?

Am I going to find my own place on this great blue watery planet?

Will my idealistic ways win the world? Will the world wear me out wrinkly?

It is important to note that these men are mere acquaintances catching up. They are respectful and never once show their seedy side. They are never cheeky or gatal. No hanky panky friendships here. Probably because I put them in their places – a place far, far away from my life and they know it.

The tides have changed recently and I am being flooded by toy boys, barely scrapping the voting age in Malaysia. I sat in Star Bucks on Friday afternoon after being grilled like a sausage during a job interview. Two bloody hours long, in a face off with four ladies. DAMN! So after the two hour long session, I sat my pink blouse, black linen trousers, black pearls and matching black pointy heels self in a tiny corner and relaxed.

In the span of two hours sitting alone in a tiny corner of Star Bucks, two different college boys approached me for a short piece of conversation. Damn malu, I tell you. How to tell them nicely that Aunty Otto is a little too old for them ah?? How to tell?

We’ll skip the first guy who came and introduced himself. We’ll talk about the second guy. I like my men tall, slender, tan with a hint of macho facial hair. And this potential toy boy had me ticking all the right boxes faster than an insurance salesman filling in a client's personal details.

He was tall (DAMN!), gorgeous eyes (double DAMN!), facial hair (don’t know how to describe), slender (Mmmmm!) and tan. He was a college student, having arrived from Saudi Arabia a month ago.

He came over with the “Excuse me, I came here to apologize. I’ve been staring probably a little too hard and it might have made you feel a little uncomfortable. Blah Blah Blah movie. Blah Blah Blah song. Blah Blah Blah.”

“Can I have your number?” He asked.

“No, you can’t.” I replied.

He had a puzzled look on his face. I imagine far too many girls are saying "Yes, yes. Oh yesssssssss...!".

“If you’d like, you can leave your number with me.” I said.

We chatted for a few minutes. He was new to Malaysia, having arrived a month ago. Studying IT, enjoys hanging around cafes, surfing the internet, completing assignment in Star Bucks. He left the table after scribbling down his phone number.

Dear readers, I have devised the perfect technique to evade personal questions aimed at myself.

I am not comfortable giving out my mobile number to strangers (even if they are recognizable strangers) in bars/pubs/cafes/etc, I’ll tell them men honestly that I am not comfortable giving out my numbers and give them the option of leaving theirs, if they so wished.

This gives me the choice of either calling them or not. Honestly I think this is a better option for girls everywhere. Do not ever feel pressured to give out more details than you are comfortable with. You don’t know what sick fucks are out there, my Little Red Riding Hoods…

If the man is a gentleman, he’ll respect your wishes, smile and leave you his number.

If the man gives you a negative reaction, be it he gives you the “you think you what? XiaXue ah? Britney Spears ah? Why so haulian?” stare or even persistently ask for you number, you will thank your lucky stars for having just gotten rid of another rotten apple.

But back to my topic of the day "Toy Boys and ROMs". Girls out there, what is your choice?

Who would you rather be? Demi Moore or Anna Nicole Smith? Answer this question and in return, may I tempt you with a story of toy boys and ROMs at a later date?


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